What Can It Hurt?
by Bensler
Summary: A blind date brings new issues for Olivia, Elliot and the SVU. What can it hurt?
1. Chapter 1 Rebound

After writing about them for over two years, they feel like part of me...and yet, they are not and I still can claim no ownership over my favorite detectives and friends. " ( Bensler

P.S. And WHAT am I doing adding yet another story when I need to finish Shield and work on another project I have going? I guess I am simply crazy!

**What Can it Hurt?**

**By Bensler**

**Chapter 1 ~ Rebound**

**SVU Squad Room – Tuesday, May 4 – 3:30 p.m.**

"What can it hurt?" Alex's dark blue eyes bored into Olivia's.

What can it hurt? Olivia repeated the question in her head. Turning her eyes from Alex her gaze flitted to Elliot. Me. Him. Us. He was leaning back in his chair talking on the phone_. 'Yeah, yeah…I'll be there in time for Lizzie's game. Promise.' There was a slight pause as he held the receiver away from his ear. Kathy's frustrated voice could be heard as he looked at Olivia and Alex and rolled his eyes. 'Okay…I know…yeah, you're right – I can't promise but…Kath…Kath…' he sighed, 'I'll do my best.'_

What can it hurt? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Elliot was back at home, back to being a family man. No longer separated from his wife and family. And Olivia was…well, she was where she had always been. Alone. And now any thought of more between her and Elliot was off the table. Completely. She was just glad that their friendship of old seemed to be back on track.

Returning her gaze to Alex, she was still contemplating the offer when Elliot hung up the phone, sighed heavily then gave the two women a curious look.

Olivia shook her head. "I don't know, Alex. Things like this usually turn out to be a disaster."

"I don't think this one will be, Olivia. I really don't. But if it is, at least you gave it a shot and nothing's lost in the long run," Alex reasoned with her.

"What are we talking about?" Elliot asked from his still reclined position.

"_We_ aren't talking about anything. It's between me and Alex," Olivia snapped wondering why she sounded so angry with him; why she _was_ so angry with him.

Shocked at her abrupt retort, Elliot stared at her, glanced at Alex, threw his hands up in defeat and picked up a pen to start on another report.

Alex just shook her head then shrugged. "Well, it's up to you. Let me know what you decide." She turned to leave.

What can it hurt?

Olivia stopped her. "Wait. Tell me about him."

"Him who?" Elliot piped up, his attention totally on the women now. He never was good at learning lessons the first time.

Olivia shot daggers with her eyes, but before she could shoot him down again, Alex replied, "The guy I'm trying to set Olivia up with on blind date."

Olivia glared at Alex. She didn't want Elliot knowing her personal business. Not anymore. Not yet. Not until there was something to _know_. Maybe then. Maybe.

"Blind date?" Elliot scoffed over a smirk. "Those usually turn out to be dates from hell."

"Thank you for your unsolicited counsel, Detective Stabler, but you are _not_ helping me to win my case," Alex complained, an icy frown daring him to continue.

"Sorry," he said with a sheepish look. "Then again, maybe you should give it try, Liv. Who knows …it _could_ work out."

Steamed at Elliot for sticking his nose in her business; steamed at telling her to give it a try; steamed that her going out with someone did not seem to bother him; she made up her mind right then. Thank you, Elliot. "All right. So, tell me about this guy, Alex."

A wide smile split Alex's face. "Well, he's about your age, recently divorced…"

"No, no,no,no. Forget it. I'm not going to be someone's rebound," Olivia shook her head and turned back to the work on her desk.

"You won't be his rebound, Olivia. I promise you that," Alex assured her.

"How can you know that?" Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Because…because I know him. He's a good man."

"Where do you know him from?" she asked.

Alex glanced at Elliot then took Olivia by the arm and pulled her close. "Professionally."

"He's an attorney?" Olivia was wide-eyed. "Well, he better be a prosecutor and not a criminal defense attorney!"

Laughing Alex told her, "He's not an attorney. But I can promise you he understands your job and the time it involves. So that won't be a problem. Well, what do you say?"

Olivia's eyes traveled the room, met Elliot's and then back to Alex's. "Mmmm…I don't know, Alex."

"He's good looking in a rugged sort of way…well, actually he's quite hot…" Alex elbowed her and laughed as she tried to convince Olivia to say yes.

Olivia thought for a moment. Why was it so hard to make what should be a very simple decision? It wasn't a marriage proposal. It was dinner. She glanced at Elliot. Should she or shouldn't she? He seemed to read her mind.

He grinned and nodded his head. "Go for it, Benson."

Unsure of what to make of his apparent support of this crazy idea, Olivia decided she in fact, did have nothing to lose and what _could_ it hurt? She stared at Elliot and the lopsided grin on his face. "Okay," turning back to Alex, she answered, "I'll go."

Alex smiled and gave her a big hug. "Oh…one thing…he wanted to talk to you before you meet…and he…uh…wants to do it online…do you mind if I give him your email address?"

Olivia was caught off guard, but then shrugged. "I guess not. What's his name?"

"Uh…I'll let him contact you and he can tell you."

"Alex!" Olivia cried out in frustration. "He knows _my_ name!"

Alex was already at the door as she called out and she ignored Olivia as she kept on going and disappeared into the hallway.

***

The little box with the blue banner appeared in the corner of her computer screen. She had a new email and this was from an unfamiliar address. Looking around the squad room, she remembered it was late and everyone was gone except her. She had stayed to go over a few files on the case she was schedule to testify at tomorrow.

Clicking on the box the email opened.

_From: Rangers99 at whoisthis . net_

_To: Olivia . Benson at MSNYPD . GOV_

_Subject: Well…hello…_

_Hi, Olivia. Alex told me you agreed to meet me. I just wanted to talk a little bit before then. Do you have AIM? That would be easier than emailing. Just let me know. Thanks._

Whoisthis . net? Laughing out loud, she muttered under her breath, 'Yeah…I'd like to know, too.' She crafted a reply and stared at it as her hand hovered over the reply button for several seconds before she hit it.

_From: __Olivia . Benson at MSNYPD . GOV_

_To: Rangers99 at whoisthis . net _

_Subject: RE: Well…hello…_

_Hi, yourself. I do have AIM…don't use it much but here's my ID – Liv123. Oh, sorry but you will have to wait until I get home – no IMs on the work computer. I'll email and let you know when I'm available._

" _) Olivia_

After hitting the reply, Olivia turned back to reading the files before her. However, her concentration was gone. She found herself constantly checking the corner of the computer and listening for the low tone that indicated she had a new email.

On her fourth try at the same paragraph the telltale beep had her dropping the file and her fingers on the mouse clicking the email open even before the little box disappeared.

_From: Rangers99 at whoisthis . net_

_To: Olivia . Benson at MSNYPD . GOV_

_Subject: RE: RE: Well…hello…_

_No problem. I'm free all night. Email me when you get home and get settled. I'll be waiting to hear from you and looking forward to 'talking'. _

Shaking her head, she wondered what was wrong with her. Here she was smiling and feeling giddy because some 'ruggedly handsome, hot stranger' wanted to talk to her via IM. Forwarding the email to her home address so she would have his address, she decided she was as prepared for the trial tomorrow as she was going to get. Logging off and straightening her desk, she again she shook her head at how she was feeling.

***

He stared at the last email in his inbox. She had emailed him back. And quickly. He was one lucky man. He had wanted to go out with Olivia Benson for a very long time but simply could not find the courage to ask her. She was beautiful, intelligent, compassionate and intimidating. A combination he had never found in any other woman. He just knew if he could have a go-between to set up that first date, he could make everything else work out.

All it took was convincing Alex Cabot that he would not mess around with Olivia's mind and heart and leave her hurt and broken hearted. And it was not easy to convince that woman of anything. She had more arguments and counter-arguments than even an attorney should have. That coupled with the fact that she was fiercely protective of her friend who, in Alex's opinion, had been the recipient of more than her share of hurt, made it that much more difficult to get her on board with his plan.

Alex called him later that evening. When he answered the phone, she said, "You owe me. Big time. Make this work or I _will_ be your worst nightmare."

Somehow he knew the words were not an idle threat. Alex Cabot was not a force to go up against and expect to come out on top.

Reliving the conversation as he sent the next email, he repeated his answer to her, 'I will, Alex. I will.'

eoeoeoeoeo


	2. Chapter 2 Relationships

OK...here's chapter 2...hope you like it...I'm exhausted from a late night...or rather morning and a long day at work and very little sleep last night. I'm posting this and then I am going to take that hot shower that Olivia put off and watch SVU!!! Can't wait to see what Elliot does when Liv gets smacked! Thanks to everyone who is reading and especially those who have reviewed. You guys are awesome! " ) Bensler

**What Can it Hurt?**

**By Bensler**

**Chapter 2 ~ Relationships**

**Benson Residence – Tuesday, May 4 – 9:15 p.m.**

For once Olivia was more interested in doing something besides taking a hot shower and going to bed when she got home. Even before hanging her purse and jacket on the hooks by the door or pulling her boots off, she headed for her computer and turned it on. She could not remember the last time she used it and it seemed to take forever to power up. As soon as it did, she clicked the email icon, opened up the one she had sent from work and quickly copied the mystery man's address to a new email, told him she was home and hit send. Then she opened up AIM and logged on.

Trying to take her mind off of just waiting for his reply, she now put everything where it belonged and grabbed a bottle of water from the frig.

Blip.

Leaning against the kitchen counter, she paused at the sound, the water bottle halfway to her mouth and looked toward the computer. Ranger99 had answered. Taking a big swallow of water, she replaced its lid and ran to her desk to see that he had already IM-ed her.

Hoops41: Hi, Liv123.

Grinning like a fool, she sat down and replied.

Liv123: Hi, Hoops41…so you a basketball player?

Hoops41: I can hold my own on a court

Liv123: Are you tall, then?

Hoops41: Pretty tall…not like 7 feet or anything. LOL.

Liv123: and Rangers99…you like hockey,too?

Hoops41: I _like_ basketball…I _love_ hockey…

Liv123: A sportsman. OK…what's the 41 and 99 for?

Hoops41: For me to know and you to find out…later

Liv123: Later?

Hoops41: At dinner. Don't want to give away all my secrets at once.

Liv123: No danger of that happening…besides you already know more about me than I know about you…I don't even know your name…

Hoops41: You play sports?

Hoops41: You might know more than you think…what all did Alex tell you? So whats the 123 mean?

Liv123: Sports? well, I was on the track, softball, basketball and swim teams in high school; softball and swim in college. Job takes up too much time these days…run and workout to stay in shape for work…but that's about it.

Hoops41: Maybe we can play a little one on one sometime…

Liv123: I'd beat ya. " )

Hoops41: LOL. Ya think?

Liv123: No, I _know_! The 123 is for _you_ to find out…_later_. All Alex told me was she knew you professionally and that…

Hoops41: That what?

Liv123: that you would understand the time constraints of my job. She said you aren't an attorney…so how _do_ you know her?

Hoops41: Like she said…professionally. You gotta wait til later to know some of the stuff

Liv123: Why don't you just call me and we can really talk?

Hoops41: No…not yet.

Liv123: Why?

Hoops41: I just prefer it this way for now…

Liv123: Phone would be a lot easier

Hoops41: For you maybe. I'm new to this…dating…well, not new…but it's been years

Liv123: What? They didn't have phones when you were dating before you got married?

Thought you were close to my age…that's what Alex said.

Hoops41: Yes, they had phones, smart aleck.

Liv123: You don't even know me and you're calling me names?

Hoops41: J/K. But really, can we just drop the phone issue for now? Please?

Olivia frowned at his answer. This was fun at first but now she was becoming frustrated with the game. They weren't a couple of kids playing around, testing the waters of a potential new romance. Why couldn't he just pick up the phone and call her? And why did she even tell Alex she would go? She started thinking of ways to get out of this and just hang up.

Hoops41: Look…I don't want to play games…and I get the feeling that you are starting to feel like that is exactly what I'm doing. And it's not…really it's not.

How'd he do that, she wondered, her mouth now open and eyes wide with surprise. How on earth did he sense that from an IM? This was really getting strange now.

Liv123: So…what exactly _are_ you doing?

Hoops41: Alex tell you I'm recently divorced?

Liv123: Yes. How long were you married?

Liv123: Guess you're ready to play the field, huh?

Hoops41: Too long.

Liv123: How long is too long?

Hoops41: I don't want to play the field…was married long enough to know what I want and what's important in a relationship.

Liv123: Yeah? Write a book about it…it'll make the NYT bestsellers list.

Olivia felt herself becoming very impatient. She was growing tired of this. She wanted him to just call her and talk things over then they would be able to decide more quickly if they should even meet for dinner.

Hoops41: A book? Haha. What? You think I think I have all the answers or something?

Liv123: I think you sound pretty cocky, yeah.

Hoops41: Hey, I'm sorry…please don't get upset with me - not yet. Give me a chance, huh?

Trust me, I don't have all the answers.

Hoops41: Listen, can I finish what I wanted to say? Or are you ready to call it a night?

Liv123: Giving up already? Cocky but not very persistent. Now that's an odd combo.

Hoops41: Oh, I'm persistent…I said call it a 'night'. We can pick back up tomorrow. I

know you've had a long day and I don't want to push you.

Liv123: How can you possibly know _anything_ about my day?

Hoops41: Hey, now…remember I know about your job…it's tough, I know. Look, can we

call a truce? We can finish this later? Or now…w/e…your call.

Liv123: Truce? Didn't know we were fighting? How about you just call me?

Hoops41: Sure feels like we're fighting. I want us to meet for dinner first then I'll call you

some time. Right now I'm sensing some real frustration on your part…do you want to continue this now or later?

Olivia stared at the screen. He was doing it again and now her curiosity was really peaked. How could he know just what she was feeling from an IM?

Liv123: Go ahead. Finish what you wanted to say.

Hoops41: Okay…like I said, I was married long enough to know what I want and what's

important. I want a woman that first and foremost I can be friends with…share things with…trust. I don't think my wife and I were ever just friends.

Liv123: That why you divorced?

Hoops41: I think we didn't have that basic foundation of friendship…and when things got tough we turned away from each other rather than work on solving problems together and when they got bigger and bigger, we grew apart.

Hoops41: Anyway, right now what I want is to build a friendship with a woman…with you, and then see where that takes us. I'm not interested in one night stands or wasting a lot of time trying to figure out whether or not a relationship will work. If we start out as friends and nurture that, if a deeper relationship is meant to be, it will be much easier to progress from friendship to romance. So…what do you think?

For several long minutes, Olivia did not answer. She was trying to decide if this guy was for real. Never had she had someone be so open and seemingly honest about a potential relationship. Maybe Alex was right. Maybe going out with this man would _not_ end in disaster. Maybe she was going to owe Alex big time.

Hoops41: Liv123? You still there? What do you think?

Liv123: Still here…I think either you have your head on straighter than any man I've ever known or you have come up with the greatest pick up line ever.

Hoops41: LOL! That mean you're interested? You'll meet me for dinner?

Liv123: Yeah…sure. When? Where?

Hoops41: Your pick.

Liv123: You like Chinese?

Hoops41: One of my favorites…right after Italian.

Liv123: Wow! My two favorites, too. You know My-Lings on Courtlandt?

Hoops41: I do…

Liv123: Okay…Friday? Seven-ish? Casual.

Hoops41: It's a date, Liv123.

Liv123: Great. Oh…how will I know it's you?

Hoops41: I'll bring you a yellow rose. ; )

Liv123: How sweet. See you then, Hoops41. Good night.

Hoops41: Right…see you then. G'night.

A yellow rose? Olivia could not stop smiling. And she couldn't remember the last time she had ever been this excited about a date. A blind date, at that.

eoeoeoeo


	3. Chapter 3 Rush

**Thanks for reading and commenting! It means a lot! " ) Bensler**

**What Can it Hurt?**

**By Bensler**

**Chapter 3 ~ Rush**

**SVU Squad Room – Wednesday, May 5 – 9:38 a.m.**

"So, you gonna tell me or not?" Elliot didn't look up from his computer as he asked Olivia the question that had been on his mind since she walked in the door two hours ago.

She cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "Tell you what?"

Snorting at her attempt to put him off, he crossed his arms and leaned across the desk toward her. "Don't play dumb, Olivia. What did the blind date have to say?"

Pondering the question, she frowned. "Oh, yeah. He said not to tell my nosy partner _anything_." She gave him a brilliant smile and went back to going over her testimony.

Blue eyes drilling into hers, he simply nodded several times. "Okay. Okay, have it your way. I don't need to know."

"Well, now..._there's_ something we agree on," she replied as she stood and gathered her things.

"I've got court. See you after lunch."

"_After_ lunch?"

"Yeah, I got plans."

"Plans? What kind of plans?"

She gave him a deadpan look, raising her eyebrow once again.

"Suppose I don't need to know that either?" he groused.

Simply smiling, she turned around and left.

Olivia returned just after 2:00 and Elliot watched as she situated herself at the desk and began working. He was aggravated that she had not chosen to share anything about the blind date and the way she now seemed to be going out of her way to ignore him only added to it.

"How'd court go?"

"Fine." She answered without looking up.

"Get a conviction?"

"Yes."

How was lunch?"

"Fine."

"You going on that date?"

"What?" Now her head snapped and her gaze met his.

"The blind date? You going?"

"What business is it of yours?"

"None, really. I just wanted to know…what did you think about him?"

She stared at him for a long time, blew out a long breath through pursed lips, and sighed. "He seems really nice. But how much can you really tell about someone over email and IMs? Right?"

"_Nice_? Sounds boring."

"Yeah…well, maybe boring is what I need."

"So you _are_ going," Elliot said as he nodded.

"Yeah…I am." Olivia smiled.

"Sure this is a good idea?"

Olivia looked at him, puzzled at this question. "You're the one who said 'go for it'. You changed your mind?"

Elliot shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, you don't know anything about him."

"Isn't that the purpose of dating? To _get_ to know someone?"

"Well, yeah…but what if he's a jerk?"

Laughing, she replied, "Then I'll know _precisely_ how to handle him. Most of the men in my life have been jerks."

**Benson Residence – Friday, May 7 – 6:01 p.m.**

Olivia stood before the piles of clothing on her bed and sighed. She knew she was making this much more difficult than it should be. It was a simple dinner date, not the theatre or a fancy restaurant. Since SVU was caught up with cases and paperwork for a change she had taken an hour off to get ready for her date. She had showered, dried her hair and put on fresh makeup, applying it a tad thicker than she did for her work day. Now all that remained was to get dressed, yet she could not make a decision.

Finally, she opted for the first outfit she had put on – a pair of dark blue jeans and light sweater in a deep red with an embroidered design around the scalloped collar. Tugging on some casual black wedges with round silver buckles, she stood and surveyed herself in the floor length mirror on the back of her closet door. Satisfied, she was heading to the bathroom to check her makeup when her cell phone chirped.

Rolling her eyes at the caller ID, she answered, "Munch said he'd cover for me if we got a call."

"What? Oh…uh…we…uh…we didn't," Elliot stammered.

"Then why are you calling? You know I have plans," she snapped.

"I…I just was calling to…uh…say that I…hope that…well…good luck with your date."

Softening at his well wishes, her voice was gentle when she answered. "Oh…well, thank you. That's…uh…very sweet of you, Elliot."

He could hear the smile in her voice and that gave him confidence. "You're welcome. I hope you find that he's a keeper, Liv."

"A keeper?"

"Yeah, you know…someone who meets your expectations and maybe even surpasses them. Someone you want to keep around…a keeper."

She pondered his explanation for a moment and then whispered, "Me, too."

**My-Ling's Chinese Restaurant – Friday, May 7 – 6:52 p.m.**

Olivia arrives at My-Lings a little earlier than she and her date had agreed to meet. As she studies the entrance from her seat at a table half-way between the door and the cash register, her heart skips a beat each time a man steps in. But so far every one of them has had a girlfriend or wife and/or family with them. Holding her watch up to the light to check the time, she is startled to hear a deep, warm male voice call her name.

"Detective Benson?"

As her gaze turns toward the voice she is both stunned and pleased to see the man before her. Alex was right - he _is_ hot, she thinks. And she can't believe it never crossed her mind that Alex would have set her up with him.

"Dr. Beresford, hi," she replied and starts to stand as she extends her hand.

"Please, call me Kyle." He takes her hand in both of his.

His glance discretely traveled the length of her body and Olivia knew he liked what he saw. Even she thought she looked good in the jeans and red sweater and usually she was not so vain.

"Well, here I'm Olivia, _not_ Detective Benson," she smiled.

Pleased that her date is not an attorney or a cop, she recalls that Alex knows him because he has been her expert witness for trials on many occasions. It was funny but Olivia had never even considered him as a potential date. Every time they had contact it was because of a case and they were always too busy with the victim to indulge in personal chit-chat. But now as she looked him over away from the hospital setting she realizes he is _very_ attractive. His dark blond hair is cut a little shorter than she remembered and he has a goatee that she never noticed. Maybe it is new. And his eyes…they are a piercing blue…almost like Elliot's, she thinks and then reprimands herself for allowing any thought of her partner to cross her mind. No way was she going to start comparing Kyle to Elliot.

They remained standing for a few moments before she finally motions for him to take seat. He quickly moves to hold her chair for her and then seats himself to her right.

"So…you here alone?" he asked.

Bewildered that he would ask such, she answered, "Uh…yes." Did he expect her to bring someone along, she wondered?

Nervously chuckling, he told her, "I guess I'm just not used to seeing you without Detective Stabler."

"Oh…well, Elliot and I are partners but we really _don't_ spend 24/7 together _every_ day," she explained.

"So some days you do?"

"Pretty much. And sometimes more than one day at a time."

Stepping into My-Lings, his gaze skims the room and he sees her at a table half-way back. With a _man_. Their heads are bent toward one another and she is laughing at something apparently hilariously funny he is saying. He watches for several long moments wondering why she is with this man. He thinks he knows the man from somewhere but cannot place him.

The man reaches over to push a fallen strand of Olivia's hair behind her ear and she smiles shyly at the gesture. He debates on whether or not to go and speak to them, but he does not want to be the intruder, the third wheel. Clearly, they are enjoying one another and he simply cannot bring himself to interfere. She is too enthralled with the man beside her to be aware of her surroundings. This is a good thing, he thinks, as he slips out the door.

Sitting in his car, he watches the crowds on the streets - families laughing; friends talking and joking; couples holding hands. A heavy sigh escapes and he empties his jacket pocket dumping the contents into the passenger seat and stares at the main item before picking it up and flinging it into the backseat.

Olivia and Kyle had talked non-stop throughout their meal. When the waiter cleared the table they barely noticed him. When he offered dessert, they declined and kept talking.

"Wanted to be a doctor since I was about five. I fell out of the tree house my brothers and were building. Broke my right arm and leg. I was in the hospital for three weeks and my two doctors became my new heroes."

"You knew that at five? Wow. Not many people know what they want to do even as adults. You were lucky."

"I know. And I love my job. What about you? When did you know you wanted to be a cop?"

Olivia stared at him, unable to believe how she set herself up for this question. A question she dreaded because she decided to become a cop when her mother finally told her that Olivia was the product of a traumatic assault and rape. She had determined in her heart to find the man who gave her life, yet took her mother's. She blamed her mother's rapist for Serena's turn to alcohol because she could not deal with what he had done to her.

"I guess I was about sixteen when I knew."

"Sixteen? That's pretty young to know what you want to do with your life. What made you decide on law enforcement?"

"Something that happened to my mother." She met his gaze with a determined look in her brown eyes, begging him to understand what she was really saying.

Searching her eyes, he nodded. "I can tell you'd rather not talk about it. That's okay. There's no rush, Olivia. We don't have to know everything about each other. We should save some for another time."

Relieved that he understood, she felt like someone had lifted a weight from her shoulders. "Thank you."

Kyle leaned toward her and spoke softly. "You're welcome. There _will_ be another time, right?"

Olivia grinned at him, "Just say when."

eoeoeoeoeo


	4. Chapter 4  Realization

**Hey, guys. I have had an incredibly horrible three and half weeks. Long story short, my Mom hurt her back. After a week of excruciating pain and a pathetic family doctor, we took her to the ER where an MRI showed two vertebrae near the waist area were shattered and pieces of the bone were pressing on the spinal cord. The ER doc could not believe she was not paralyzed. She was sent to a larger nearby city because the local hospital could not perform the surgery she had Friday, May 7. She was in ICU a week and now is having a second surgery this Friday, May21. If you are a person of prayer, I sure would appreciate you praying for her. As you can imagine, it has been hard on Mom and our family, too. My writing has gone by the wayside except for all the ideas taking shape in my mind. I miss it and I miss all you guys, too! " ) Bensler**

**What Can it Hurt?**

**By Bensler**

**Chapter 4 ~ Realization**

**Benson Residence – Monday, May 10 – 2:10 a.m.**

Searching for the ringing cell phone, Olivia knocked it off the nightstand.

"Aaaggghhhh!" she groaned as she fumbled with the light switch on the lamp.

Squinting from the brightness she looked around but there was no phone in sight and it had quit ringing. She slid from the warmth of her bed to floor and lifted the lacey dust ruffle and spotted the phone. Since it had bounced to the middle of the underneath of the bed, she had to lie down on the floor to retrieve it. Just as she grabbed it the screen lit up and the ringing started again. It was Elliot.

"Benson," she answered, as she flopped on the floor. She was breathing hard from her acrobatics to reach the phone.

"You okay?"

"What?"

"Sound out of breath." He did not want to think of why she might be out of breath at this time of the morning.

"Oh…knocked the phone off the nightstand, it was up under the bed and took some effort to get it." She took another deep breath. "What's up?"

He supposed that sounded legit. "Assault and rape in midtown. I'll swing by and pick you up."

"Give me ten."

Ten minutes later she was walking toward the beat-up sedan. She could see Elliot lean over and push open the passenger door. She slid in, grabbing and securing the seatbelt.

"Hey."

"Hey." He handed her a steaming cup of hot tea.

"Thanks." She took the cup and held it between her hands. It felt good in the slight chill of the night.

Without another word, Elliot pulled out and headed for the crime scene. Almost immediately Olivia sensed something was off but had no idea what it could be. After five minutes of waiting for him to fill her in on the case, she broke the silence.

"So, what we got?" Olivia asked as she looked over at Elliot.

"College kids at Donovan's…girl left alone…attacked a block away, beat up, raped."

"Alive?"

"Yeah."

"Suspect?"

"Yeah."

"Can you be a little more specific?

"Thinks she knows him."

"Maybe we'll get lucky and this will be an open and shut case."

Elliot nodded his head as her slipped back to silent mode.

Olivia stared at him for a moment but his gaze was fixed on the road. Something was definitely wrong but she was not in the mood to pry and prod her way to what would most likely end in an argument and fight. She leaned back into the seat and sipped her tea.

**Donovan's – Monday, May 10 – 2:43 a.m.**

"We heard you know your attacker. Are you friends with him?" Olivia asked the young woman.

"N-no. I just r-recognize him from…from sch-school," Katie Lloyd stuttered as she wiped tears from her eyes.

Olivia flipped open the small notepad she carried and read some notes. "Steven McWilliams?"

"Yes." One of the paramedics cleaned a nasty cut on the side of her forehead as she spoke.

"And you are sure you had no interaction with him earlier in the evening?" Elliot asked.

Olivia looked at Elliot, puzzled, because he usually let her talk to the rape victims before he got involved in the questioning.

"N-no. I was…I was…"

"You had too much to drink, got a little forward with him, dancing close, sending mixed messages," Elliot stared down his nose at her, his tone accusatory. "Huh? That it?"

Olivia's eyes widened and her mouth fell open as she turned her heated glare on her partner.

"No. No. I-I was here w-with friends and…"

"And then you decided to leave _alone _in the middle of the night. Or were you hooking up with McWilliams? Either way, you're not very smart are you?" he asked brusquely.

"Elliot!" Olivia gave him a piercing look then glanced at Katie who had begun to cry. "Excuse us a moment, please."

She grabbed Elliot by the left arm and pushed him away from Katie and the paramedics. "What is your problem?" she snapped in a hushed whisper.

Elliot crossed his arms over his chest and stared defiantly at her. "Just trying to make sure she's telling the truth."

Olivia scoffed. "More like you were accusing her of lying about the rape."

"Maybe she is."

"And what about the assault? She's had the crap beat out of her!" she exclaimed.

"Rough sex?" he countered sarcastically.

Shaking her head, she stared at him in disbelief. "I'll take care of Katie. You question witnesses or…or something." She waved her hands in exasperation as she walked off.

"I'll meet you at the hospital," he called out.

She turned around but walked backwards as she answered, "That's okay. You go the house and start on paperwork when you finish here."

"You'll need a ride…"

"I'm a big girl. I can make my way around the city," she retorted.

"Olivia…"

She threw her hand up in a silent gesture that the conversation was over and continued on her way.

**SVU Squad Room – Monday, May 10 – 5:25 a.m.**

What was wrong with him, Elliot asked himself for the hundredth time? He knew Katie Lloyd had been violently assaulted…and raped. Yet, he had taken out his frustration at Olivia on this innocent young woman who was a victim of a sexual assault. The type of crime he had spent nearly half his life fighting and trying to get justice for the victim and punishment for the perpetrator. How could he have treated her so callously? He assuaged his guilt by determining to apologize to Katie the next time he saw her. And he wasn't even sure why he was so upset with his partner.

He looked up at the clock and wondered again what was keeping Olivia. At the bar, he had questioned all of her friends and a number of others that he hoped might have seen something what happened to Katie. When Munch and Fin arrived to help out, he sent them to find Steve McWilliams. They arrested him outside his college dormitory and were now at central booking with him. Cragen was due for his annual department physical and would be late getting to work, so Elliot sat alone in the dark squad room, his ears roaring with the silence.

Hearing the elevator ding, his stomach unexpectedly clenched and his heartbeat quickened, knowing it was Olivia and that meant it was just a matter of time before they were in the midst of a heated confrontation over his treatment of Katie.

As she entered the room, he looked up and their gaze locked as she stopped for just a second. She took a deep breath and continued to her desk. She laid her cell phone and keys down and moved the mouse to bring up the log-in screen.

Elliot knew he would have to be the one to break the icy silence. He cleared his throat and leaned across his desk, arms folded on top, and asked, "How's Katie?"

Tilting her head, Olivia looked at him and sucked her lower lip between her teeth and debated on whether to give him a smart aleck response like _'what do you care?'_ or to give him the true report.

"She's…uh…pretty torn up…the vaginal area took over fifty stitches, has a mild concussion, gashes on the crown of her head and forehead and bruises everywhere else." There…she had given him the medical report but still she could not resist. Standing up, she leaned on her hands across the desk as she leveled her angry stare at him. "Guess you were right about _rough_ sex."

As she walked toward the ladies room, he called out, "Come on, Liv…you know, I didn't mean it." He sighed heavily and dropped his head into his hands.

The reflection in the mirror was of a middle-aged, still attractive woman who looked worn out and defeated. Olivia stared at the woman and wondered when she had quit smiling, quit laughing, quit living. She needed to change all that, she thought. Then Kyle Beresford came to mind and she smiled slightly. Maybe he would be what she needed to bring joy, laughter and a reason for living back into her life. Then she thought about her partner, her best friend, the man she really wanted to bring all those things to her life. She then wondered what was eating Elliot so much he would treat a victim the way he had Katie Lloyd.

The knock was soft and she could almost pretend not to hear it. But the squeaking of the door as it slowly opened was too loud to ignore as was the voice that accompanied it.

"Liv?" Elliot spoke quietly and slowly entered the room.

"Lose your ability to read along with your ability to recognize a vic? This is the _ladies_ room."

"Look…I…I know I was out of line at the scene…"

"Oh…you were _way _past being over the line, Stabler."

Stabler. When she called him by his last name it was because she was either teasing or furious with him and there was no doubt which was the case right now. "I…I know, I know. And I'm going to apologize to Katie…"

"I think you should stay away from her. She was _extremely _upset over the things you said, and implied."

He nodded his head and dropped his gaze when she looked at him. He was ashamed of what he had done to the poor girl.

"Not only was she victimized by Steven McWilliams, she was victimized by yet _another_ man – a cop sworn to protect and help her, no less."

"I don't need the lecture, Benson. I know I was wrong. I admit it, okay? And I'll do whatever I have to do to make it right. I _need_ to make it right."

His blue eyes, darkened with pleading nearly did her in. She knew he was sorry and he would do everything in his power to rectify the matter. Something else was a play here.

"El, what's going on?"

"Nothing." He shook his head as his hands massaged his temples.

"Elliot…_something_ is going on. What's wrong? Talk to me," she begged.

He continued to stand there in silence.

"Is it something with one of the kids?"

His head slowly shook left to right.

"Kathy? You guys fighting again?"

"Again?" A sarcastic laugh rumbled from deep within him. "We never _stopped_ fighting. Besides, the divorced was final three months ago and Kathy is the farthest thing from my mind."

Olivia was so shocked she simply stood there with a confused look on her face. She could not believe he had gone through this and not said anything. Not one word.

He wanted to tell her about the divorce but this was not the way he had planned it. Just blurting it out was not advisable and he knew she would be upset. When he managed to find the courage to meet her gaze, he saw the confusion give way to hurt, betrayal and finally anger.

"Liv…" He took a step toward her. He did not mean to hurt her or make her angry. He just did not want her to know he was a failure.

She held her hands up and he stopped. Her eyes narrowed as her mouth opened but no words came out. She licked her lips and tried again. "_Three_ months?" She scoffed. "When were you going to tell me?" Her brown eyes were black with anger, betrayal, hurt. "Or w_ere_ you going to tell me?"

"Yes. I wanted to…I tried several times…I just…I just couldn't bring myself to tell you," he tried to explain.

"Why?" She could not understand. "We're partners…best friends…at least I…I _thought_ we were…"

"We _are_, Olivia…"

"Then why? Why couldn't you share this with me, Elliot?"

He ran his hands over his head and let loose a long breath through pursed lips.

"Because…because I…I couldn't bear you knowing I really was just what my father always called me."

Olivia searched her mind to figure out what he was talking about, but came up blank. "What your father called you? What are you talking about?"

She watched the muscle in his jaw furiously contract and release as he looked away unable to meet her gaze. "I'm a failure…just like he said…I screw up everything in my life…"

"Elliot…" He had never shared this with her either and her heart broke at the revelation.

"He was right. I lost my college scholarship when I got Kathy pregnant. Then after finishing Officer Candidate School in the Marines I backed out of the space program because she threatened to leave me and take Maureen and she was pregnant with Kathleen and…I…I couldn't lose my family…he…he never got over that…said I…he always knew I wasn't a real man…couldn't even stand up to my wife…"

She could not take it any longer. His pain. She walked over to Elliot and placed her right hand on his left arm that was now folded across his chest, the right one rubbing his forehead.

"If your father called you a failure…he didn't know you, El."

"No…he was right…I couldn't even keep my family together. What kind of man let's his family fall apart, huh? I _am_ a failure and I…I didn't want you to know. That's why I couldn't tell you."

The pain his father's words had inflicted years ago was so evident in his voice and his eyes; it was all Olivia could do to keep herself from just pulling him into a hug. She felt that pain within her own being and wished she could have a minute alone with Joseph Stabler.

"Elliot, I have watched you try to keep your marriage and family together. It takes two to make or break a relationship. I don't know what Kathy did or didn't do, but I know you tried…you went to counseling, you…you cut back on hours and tried to be home more in the evenings and make it to the kid's games and concerts and things." She stopped to gather her thoughts and to see if she was getting through to him. "El, you aren't the only one to ever go through a divorce. And it doesn't make you a failure. Some things just don't work out like we plan…people change…that's just…that's life. No matter what happened between you and Kathy, you tried to be a good husband and you _are_ a good father. You're a good man, Elliot. I _know _you and I _know_ my best friend is _not_ a failure. You got that?"

She bent her head to try to see into his eyes. He finally looked up at her. "You really mean that?"

"Yes," she whispered, giving him a huge smile. "I really mean it."

"Thanks."

She tried not to but her mind quickly began to think of the possibility of being with him. She had been in love with him for so long she seriously doubted that any other man would ever be able to make her forget him. Maybe this time he would ask her out.

"So, that's what tonight was all about?" she asked.

Briefly, he debated on whether or not to tell her the truth, but decided there had been too much deception already so he told her. "No. It was because…well…uh…we're best friends, right?"

She nodded, "Yeah."

"Best friends talk about stuff…so…uh…well, see there's this woman that I'm interested in and she…well…I don't think she is interested in me the way I am in her." He watched her closely as he explained his situation.

At the mention of a woman, Olivia willed herself not to show any reaction even though she was aching to let the tears that suddenly burned her eyelids to fall and thought she might need to excuse herself to the toilet to toss her cookies. How could she have ever thought there was any possibility of a real relationship with him? The realization that he already had his eye on someone else sent sharp stabs of pain shooting through her heart. How could she have been so stupid to think he would be interested in someone like her?

"Why…why do you think that?" She somehow managed to act interested in what he was saying.

"Well, she's…uh…seeing someone."

"Is it exclusive?"

"I'm not sure."

"Okay…then just ask her out. That's the only way to know for sure."

"It's that easy, huh?"

"Yeah, that easy." Olivia could not believe she had just told Elliot to ask someone out. Suddenly the walls began closing in on her and she had to get out of there; away from him. "You get the reports done on the Lloyd case?"

"Almost." He answered noticing that her face seemed drained of its color.

"You mind if I catch a few winks? I'll finish up a little later."

"That's okay. I can finish it. You get some rest."

She tried to smile as she nodded even though she could barely look at him. She quickly headed for the crib in hopes of a bit solitude so she could fall apart. At least a little. A complete breakdown would have to wait until she was in the privacy of her home.

eoeoeoeoeo

"You know where he lives?"

"I think Beauford Hall on campus."


	5. Chapter 5 Reasons

Sorry for the long time in between updates...but, well, you know about Mom and I thank you all for your support during this very bad time. I have had a lot of stuff going on, too. I was out of town for work a couple of times and just this past weekend spent 4 days in North Carolina at the Writer's Police Academy. It was awesome! My entry for a short story contest they had was a finalist! I didn't win, but it was still exciting. And I was very proud of my friend, Melanie, you may know her as Widget, who was runner up in the book contest and she has requests from three publishers for her manuscript!

And this weekend I am heading to Atlanta for the Georgia Romance Writers Conference...so I just have not had time to write even though I am going to all these writer's thingys! How ironic, huh? Well, you know I want to know what you think about this latest chapter...3 " ) Bensler

P.S. OMGoodness! I hope you DO know how much I love you guys and how bad I feel for not updating sooner...because I just MISSED the first half of SVU tonight! Aaaaaaugh! That's okay...breathe...okay...I'll catch it on reruns...breathe...breathe...

**What Can it Hurt?**

**By Bensler**

**Chapter 5 ~ Reasons**

**Police Cruiser – Monday, May 10 – 4:24 p.m.**

The silence between them was comfortable enough – maybe it was because they were both exhausted. Cragen had made them both sleep for a few hours but it was barely enough to refuel them after the call about Katie Lloyd. Comfortable silence or not, Olivia still knew _something_ was bothering Elliot. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. Facing straight ahead, his face was basically expressionless. They had talked a little at the beginning of the stake-out, but mostly they sat quietly watching for any sign of Steven McWilliams. It had been nearly five hours and she was getting restless. She decided to chance talking again.

"How're things going?" she asked, her gaze following a piece of paper sailing across the street blown by the wind.

She could see him shift a bit but he didn't look at her either. "What things?" he asked.

"I don't know…just things. How are things at home?"

"What you mean by that?" Now he is looking at her with a deep frown etched into his brow.

Whoa! Wrong thing to ask about, apparently. She looked at him and tried to make light of his reaction. "Uh…gosh…like…uh…how are the kids?"

The frown softened just a bit as he released a deep breath. "Fine."

Fine. It was her standard answer to just about every question as well. _Why_ is everything always _fine_ with them, she wondered? Even when it is more than evident it is anything but.

"Lizzie's team win that soccer tournament?"

"Yeah."

Olivia nodded. "Great. She block any goals?"

"Four."

"That's good." Olivia smiled thinking of the last game she had seen Lizzie play and what a great goalie she was. "Dickie…uh…I mean, Richard still dating that cute brunette."

"Yep."

Okay…getting him to talk was like pulling teeth. Still, she pressed on.

"Kathleen and Maureen find a new apartment?"

"Uh-huh."

"How's Kathy handling everything…the divorce and all?"

Elliot stared at her – the frown back and deeper than ever. "When did you start being concerned about Kathy?"

"What?" Olivia was ticked off. "I've_ always _asked about Kathy!" she snapped defensively.

Elliot's stare was more of a glare but then faded as he looked away. "You're right. She's fine. The kids are fine. Everyone's fine."

Her gaze traveled over his profile. "You sure don't act fine," she mumbled to herself more than to him as she turned to look out her window.

"What'd you say?" he asked with a huff.

He heard what she said he just wanted her to repeat it. He _had_ been fine when they left the precinct but the longer they sat here, the more he kept thinking about her with Kyle. And that only served to make him angry, jealous and irritable.

Just as she was about to respond, her cell phone rang.

"Benson." She answered as she rolled her eyes at Elliot.

Elliot's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. Olivia was incredibly beautiful even when she was exhausted and angry. He wanted to reach out and touch her face; find out if it is as soft as it looks. He saw her slender fingers resting on her thigh and he wanted to lace his with hers and just hold her hand. Every now and then he caught a slight whiff of her cologne or shampoo or something that just smells like Olivia and he has to fight not close his eyes and savor it.

Why couldn't he just man up and tell her how he felt about her, he asked himself for at least the millionth time? Instead he had to beat around the bush and screw up any possibility of ever being with her. What was he thinking? 'Oh, Olivia, by the way…_there's this woman that I'm interested in and she…well…I don't think she is interested in me the way I am in her.'_ He has to be a complete idiot. What man, in his right mind, would ask the woman he loves this question?

He could tell by the look on her face he caught her off guard with it. And he thought he saw hurt in her expression. As desperate as he was to think she cares about him, it was probably just wishful thinking on his part. Even if she was hurt, what does she do? She tells him to '_just ask her out. That's the only way to know for sure_.' He knows she really thinks he has someone else in mind. If only he could tell her the truth! Truth or Dare? No, he does not dare tell her the truth.

He's a coward. The mere _thought_ of losing her from his life completely, terrifies him. And he knows if she does not have the same feelings for him as he does for her, she would run. Again. The minute he declared his feelings she would run so far and so fast it would make his head spin. He also knows if she did, this time she would never come back. And he can't live without her in his life even it's not the way he wants her to be a part of it. And now she's interested in that ER doctor!

His thoughts are broken as she speaks again.

"When? Okay. See you then."

As she flipped the phone shut Elliot could not help himself. "So, got yourself another rendezvous with the boring blind date?"

"What?" She was puzzled by the question that seemed to come from nowhere.

"Must have been a heck of first date, if he's _already_ calling you," Elliot surmised, trying his best to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

Realizing what he thought, Olivia felt the heat of her rising blood pressure. It was amazing the effect words could have on people.

"Exactly what are you insinuating?" she demanded, nostrils flaring.

With a smirk, Elliot raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "Nothing."

"_What_ is your problem, Stabler?"

"I don't have a problem," he shot back.

"Yeah, you do. Every time anyone - excuse me - a _man_ shows any interest in me, you get in this sabotage mode."

"Sabotage? What are you talking about?

"You do everything you can to sabotage our partnership, friendship, along with my personal life, Elliot. You _always_ have!" Her eyes had darkened with rage, the vein in the middle of her forehead pulsating with each angry beat of her heart.

"You're crazy!" Elliot yelled his face scrunched with resentment.

"Crazy? No. No." Olivia shook her head almost violently. "You stick your nose in my business and go to see Kurt? You didn't even know him but you go to his _office_? About _me_! You were ticked off because I never told you about him and…"

Interrupting her, he hissed through gritted teeth, "I was trying to help you keep your job, Olivia. And yeah, I was ticked off! I had to find out about you and the paper boy from that rat Tucker! Partners shouldn't have those kinds of secrets, Olivia!"

"Oh…you mean like pregnant-almost-ex-wives and three month old divorces? _You_ tell _me_ who's keeping the secrets?" The words were biting, her tone harsh.

"That was different," he said in a more quiet tone because he knew she had a good point.

"I'll say it's different. You get Kathy pregnant _after_ telling me you signed the divorce papers…_after_ two years of separation! And then drop that happy little announcement on me in the middle of the Parker trial? Like I wasn't under enough stress already! At least I'd only been dating Kurt for a couple of months but you ended a twenty-three year marriage and never said a word! Not one single, solitary word, Elliot!" she snapped, then added, "Oh, no pun intended – single, solitary – just FYourI, in case you didn't catch it!"

"One time in twelve years, I get into your personal life and…"

"One time? One time? Are you serious? How about the way you did Dean from the very first time you met him. You acted like I was your property and he was infringing on your territory! And this last time… '_No, thanks, I'm good,'_ you say when he asks if he can give me a ride home. What was that, huh? Are you jealous?" She is beyond furious now and knows she should just shut up. She's already said far too much. They both have.

Shaking his head, Elliot burst out laughing. "Don't flatter yourself, Benson," he said in a cold voice, his blue eyes suddenly like sheets of ice.

His laughter ripped into her and she felt the tears beginning to burn her eyelids. She will not cry in front of him. And certainly not about him. Glaring, she shook her head and chewed on her lower lip. This was an argument no one was going to win. Besides it no longer mattered. Elliot was interested in someone and Kyle looked quite promising.

"Cragen wants us back at the house to finish up the reports on the Sandifer case. Now." Olivia sighed deeply and turned to face the front again. "He's sending Munch and Fin to sit on McWilliams' parent's home."

Cragen. What a fool he had just made of himself, Elliot realized. And what an ugly scene he had precipitated. The bile rose in his throat at the churn of his stomach. He swallowed hard and loud. It was Captain Cragen on the phone. Because of his state of mind, he jumped to conclusions. His _jealous_ state of mind. Jealous? Yes, he was jealous, but no way, absolutely no way, would he ever let Olivia Benson know it! Not after all this.

eoeoeoeoeoeoeo

The silence was back with a vengeance and this time it was laden with heavy tension.

Elliot's knuckles were white because of the intense grip he had on the steering wheel; his eyes were narrowed and the muscle in his jaw jumped incessantly.

Olivia had subconsciously edged her way as close to her door as she could get as she stared out of her window, both hands grasping the door's armrest.

They were both pulling away from each other in their own way.

It was, after all, one of the things they did best.

As they turned into the precinct garage, Elliot drove toward his car and stopped. He dug keys from his pocket and held them up for Olivia. "Got a couple of files on Sandifer in the backseat. Grab 'em while I park."

When she just stared at him with her left eyebrow cocked, he added, "That is…if you don't mind…please."

He smiled but it wasn't real and they both knew it.

Grabbing the keys from his hand she got out of the sedan. "No problem," she said in a syrupy tone as she flashed him a fake grin then slammed the door as hard as she could.

As the tires squealed as he took off, Olivia could not help but think how grateful she was they had not known each other in middle school…although she wasn't sure things could get much worse than they were now.

She unlocked Elliot's car and saw that the files had slid all the way across the seat, scattering some of the papers. She gathered the ones that had fallen on the floor then picked up the file closest to her on the seat. As she reached for the one farthest from her, a flash of color caught her eye.

She put the second file on top of the first then laid them on the seat. As she picked up the item lying in the middle of the back seat, everything suddenly fell into place. Everything became crystal clear. As the realization hit her, the furious pounding of her heart along with the fact that she could barely catch her breath caused light-headedness to wash over her and she steadied herself with one hand on the frame of the car, one hand holding the item. Its meaning overwhelmed her. And now she knew at least one of the reasons behind all the tension between her and Elliot.

In frantic need of a few minutes to clear her head, she hoped Elliot couldn't find a parking place. However, upon hearing the sound of the familiar footsteps approaching, she realized she was not going to be afforded that luxury. Quickly, she emptied her hands, grabbed the files and slammed the door just in time to see him coming her way.

"Find 'em?" Elliot asked. His hands were jammed in his front pockets as he walked toward her.

All she could muster was a nod toward the files in her arms as she stepped away from the car and handed him his keys.

Elliot walked slightly ahead of her, which usually would have irritated her, but right now she was more than fine with following him. Her mind was in overdrive, her emotions reeling. The memory of what she had just held in her hands was so vivid it was as though she still held it.

It was wilted and drying out along the edges, but the color was still vibrant; the stem and leaves still green though spots of brown were also present.

In her mind she was able to still feel the soft velvety texture of the petals on her fingers. She could still smell the slight fragrance that lingered when she had brought it to her nose. She could still picture it as though it were before her.

While pretty, even now, it was obvious it had once been a stunningly beautiful flower.

A rose.

Drenched in color that made the sun look dull.

An intensely brilliant golden hue.

Yellow.

A yellow rose.

~ ~ ~ eoeoeoeoeo ~ ~ ~


	6. Chapter 6 Reaction

**What Can it Hurt?**

**By Bensler**

**Chapter 6 ~ Reaction**

**SVU Squad Room - Monday, May 10 – 6:37 p.m.**

Elliot had been silent since they began their work on the Sandifer case steadily writing and flipping pages of the case files. Olivia tried to concentrate on the report she was responsible for but that thing in his car kept getting in the way.

There had to be a perfectly logical explanation for why there was a wilted yellow rose in Elliot's backseat. She knew there was; she just couldn't figure it out. Perhaps he had gotten it for Kathy or one of the girls. Or maybe Dickie had borrowed the car and it was for his girl. Olivia simply could not believe the glaring truth of what she thought it meant. No way was Elliot Stabler her intended blind date. No. There simply was no way Alex had set her and Elliot up.

Alex.

She needed to talk to her. Now. She picked up the desk phone and started to dial, momentarily forgetting about Elliot sitting a mere six feet away. Realizing she could not talk in front of him, she slammed the phone down. He looked up at her questioningly but said nothing.

Pushing away from the desk she grabbed her cell phone and headed for the ladies room. Checking to be certain it was empty first, she went to the far corner and leaned against the counter area before she dialed Alex's number.

'You have reached the Assistant District Attorney's Office, ' the recording informed.

Oh, man! It was after hours and besides Olivia now shook her head remembering that Alex had told her she was going upstate to take depositions today and would be staying over to visit with family she had in the area. She checked her watch and decided to try Alex's cell phone. It went straight to voice mail.

Another plan began to hatch in her mind and she made another call. "Hey, Delgado. You still need to ditch those tickets for the Yankees game this Saturday?" There was a short pause before she responded, "Great. I'll let you know for sure tomorrow." She quickly made her way back to her desk.

Glancing at Elliot as she sat down, she smiled about her little plan. His eyes were glued to the reports before him. She opened her personal email account and started typing.

_From: Liv123 _

_To: _

_Subject: Hey, Kyle…you busy Saturday afternoon?_

_Got tickets for the Yankees' game from a co-worker who can't make it. I know how you love baseball…let me know. " ) Liv_

She and Kyle had talked a little about sports that night. And while hockey was not mentioned he did say he loved basketball but did not care much for baseball. But Elliot did not know this and _he_ liked almost all sports so she was eager to see what he would come up with – if indeed Rangers99 was, as she suspected, one Elliot Stabler. She had no idea when he would get the email but she knew it would create a quandary for him. And that was exactly what she intended.

Elliot wondered what she was up to. He noticed she took her phone with her and after the way she slammed the desk phone down, he knew she made a call she didn't want him to hear. Probably to the doctor. He wanted to punch something. Or someone. As he sat there wrapped in his jealousy, he saw the little screen pop up announcing he had a new email. When he saw the name of the sender, his pulse quickened and stomach flip-flopped. Olivia.

He should wait until later to read it, he told himself yet his curiosity got the better of him. Opening it, he nearly croaked. Kyle? _Kyle_? She had called _him_ Kyle. And was asking him to a Yankees game. He was surprised she was asking him out. Well, not him, but Kyle. For some reason he didn't think of Olivia as being one to suggest a date. What a fix he was in. If he answered her pretending to be Kyle, what would happen when she really saw or talked to him? He would know nothing about the ballgame. If he ignored it, she might think the doctor was just brushing her off or didn't like her. _He_ could live with that, Elliot thought. But then he could not do that to Olivia. Could not let her think the man simply didn't like her. She had been through enough rejection in her life. He _had_ to answer. But not now.

Glancing over at her he saw she had apparently gone back to writing her report and did not seem to be paying any attention to him. Still, there was no way he was going to answer that email with her sitting right there. The only reason he had his personal email open was for Lizzie to send him the copy of her invoice for her books for summer school. She had forgotten to get his credit card from him this morning so he was going to pay over the phone when he had a free minute.

From the corner of her eye Olivia could tell Elliot was nervous by the way he shifted in his chair. Because she knew him so well she knew he was having a major debate with himself over how to answer that email. Oh, yes, she knew it was his email address now because less than a minute after she sent it she heard the low tone on his computer telling him he had a new email. She tried hard to keep the satisfied smirk twitching at the corners of her mouth from taking over her face. She was beyond pleased with her little plan.

"Olivia?"

The voice came from the squad room entrance and she looked over to see Kyle walking toward her. Now she was the one in a quandary. Elliot had the email about the ballgame and if she did not say something to Kyle about it, Elliot might catch on. But she is not finished messing with Elliot's head. So…

"Kyle, hi!" she greeted him enthusiastically. "What brings you here?"

"Believe it or not I actually got off when my shift was over and decided since the precinct was on my way home, I'd take a chance on you being here. I was hoping to interest you in an impromptu dinner date…" he smiled and looked expectantly at her.

"Well, we…uh…oh, you know my partner, Elliot," she gave Elliot a brief nod, "El, you remember Dr. Beresford from the ER."

"Kyle." The doctor walked toward Elliot's desk as Elliot met him halfway. They shook hands and Olivia could tell Elliot was doing his best to be polite, but she sensed his anger and discomfort.

"Kyle. Good to see you," Elliot grinned at him but let his gaze turn to Olivia.

Anxious to get away from the staring his blue eyes, she answered Kyle. "A girl's gotta eat," she grinned at him. She did not miss the roll of Elliot's eyes from the corner of hers.

"Great."

"But a girl's also gotta work, so I'm afraid I'll have to come back after dinner to finish up these reports. That okay with you, Elliot?"

No, it wasn't okay with him, he thought. He didn't want her going with Kyle to dinner or a ballgame or anywhere else. But he couldn't very well say all that now, could he? "Tell you what. I'll finish the reports. Been a long day but no reason both of us have to stay here. You go on and enjoy the evening," Elliot told her.

Now Olivia was confused. Barely an hour ago they were going at each other and he was acting every bit the jealous boyfriend, lover, whatever. And then she found the rose. But if Elliot was her blind date then why was he clearing the way for her to go out with Kyle? And telling her to enjoy it? Well, he _had_ told her he was interested in someone else. Maybe she was wrong about her suspicions. Maybe she only imagined his jealousy. Maybe that rose really was for one of the other women in his life. Maybe it was for the woman he was interested in, you idiot, she said to herself. At any rate, this was most definitely not the reaction she expected from him. Where was Alex when she needed her?

"You sure? I mean, I feel guilty leaving all this to you," she told him. Not to mention I feel guilty just going out with Kyle and just why, I am certain I do not know, she thought.

"Liv, just go." He sat down, picked up a case file, turned away from her and left her to Kyle.

"Okay…uh…thanks," she said softly, wondering how she could have misread him so completely. He wasn't interested in her. He didn't care about her. Not like that. Not like she hoped and dreamed. The sooner she faced that fact, the sooner she could get over him and perhaps find a life apart from him. Who was she kidding? She could not imagine her life without Elliot in it, if only as her partner.

"Yeah," Elliot barely grunted.

She was standing there looking at him, waiting for him to look at her. He couldn't. If he looked at her she would be able to see this was killing him. She would be able to see how much he cared, how much this hurt him. She would know the power she has over him. And that would not be a good thing for him. Not when she does not have the same feelings for him as he does for her. No. If she knew, she would have all the control, all the power to hurt him and leave him bleeding. Not that she wasn't doing it now, but at least she didn't _know_ she was doing it. Somehow that allowed him keep a small part of his dignity and pride intact.

She watched him basically ignoring her. It was like a stab in the heart. It shouldn't have been. She had done her share of ignoring him and he had ignored her so much she should be used to it, she thought. For some reason this felt different; more painful than before. She thought he was her blind date. The _real_ one. And that gave her hope that he really did care about her like she cared about him. After all they had been through, all the looks and silent words. All the ripping each other to shreds, all the jealousy, all the roundabout ways of saying 'I care. I love you', she thought maybe they really would have a chance as a couple after all. But now he couldn't even be bothered to lift his head and look at her.

Finally, she nodded. "See you later."

When he did look, the last thing he saw was the man's arm draped around her shoulder and Olivia's left arm slipping around Dr. Kyle Beresford's waist. The gentle laughter from a shared joke filled the air as they walked into the hall.

With one violent sweep of his arm, the case file in his hand became a rain of papers that silently covered the squad room floor.

~ ~ ~ eoeoeoeoeo ~ ~ ~

You know I would 3 to know what you think! " ) Bensler


	7. Chapter 7 Rearrangements

**What Can it Hurt?**

**By Bensler**

**Chapter 7 ~ Rearrangements**

SVU Squad Room - Monday, May 10 – 7:00 p.m.

**Elliot stared at the mess he had made, shrugged his shoulders and dropped heavily into his chair. He could not stand the idea of Olivia being with someone else. He had to do something to declare his true feelings before it really was too late. And he desperately hoped it was not already too late. Nearly thirty minutes later he reread the email from Olivia and wondered what to do about it. If he said he would go and then Olivia asked Beresford about it, the doc would be clueless. But if he didn't answer it and Olivia asked the doc why he never responded, that would be just as bad. Finally, a plan formulated in his mind and he**decided to answer it. But not now. He had to wait until he knew Olivia and the doc weren't together. If he sent it now and she checked the time she would know Beresford didn't send it. How was he going pull this one off, Elliot wondered. Well, he would figure out something.

**He looked at the time and saw that nearly an hour had passed since Olivia left with the doctor. That fact coupled with the overall emotional upheaval of the day left him feeling drained. Again he looked at the debris on the floor for just a second before stepping over it and going to the locker room. A hot shower might help ease the tension in his shoulders and relax him enough to concentrate on the report he needed to finish. He would clean this up when he was done with his shower.**

Moretti's Italian Restaurant - Monday, May 10 – 7:34 p.m.

**Olivia found talking to Kyle so easy. He was funny, engaging and didn't push her to reveal things about herself or her family she wasn't ready to discuss. He waited for her input, commented on things she said, and didn't bore her to death with talk about himself or his work. The conversation was give and take and it had been a long time since she had dated anyone who wasn't one extreme – barely saying a word, or the other – talking incessantly and usually about themselves. She liked this.**

**Then she remembered Elliot and the work she had left him with even though he had insisted she go. The guilt was growing by the minute and finally she told Kyle she really needed to go back to the precinct and do her share of work.**

**Surprised that he didn't seem to be angry or upset by her decision, she thought he had to be one of the few nice guys left on the planet. What a shame she had to find him now when there was all this stuff between her and Elliot in need of resolution.**

**Kyle paid for their meal then walked her back to the one-six, gave her a quick hug and watched until she was in the building. She turned at the doorway and waved goodbye. By the time she was at the elevator, her cell phone was chirping and she grinned as she looked at the caller ID. It was Kyle.**

"**What? You miss me already?" she teased as she answered.**

"**Yes, of course." He chuckled softly. "I meant to ask if you would like to go to a concert in the park tomorrow evening- it's just an old friend of mine, he plays the guitar and sings. He's developed quite a following. I thought we could get some chicken or sandwiches and make it a picnic of sorts. And I know it will depend on how both our days go…what do you say?"**

"**Ummm….let me see…I say yes, I'd love to go," Olivia told him, pleased at the invitation. It was good to have a man pay attention to her and want to spend time with her.**

"**Great. I'll call you."**

SVU Squad Room - Monday, May 10 – 7:49 p.m.

**Olivia was still smiling when she entered the silent squad room. The sight of Elliot's desk swiped clean and the contents covering the floor nearby instantly took care of the smile. Concern swept over her as she quickly made sure there was no blood or signs of a struggle. Deciding the mess was the result of Elliot's notorious temper, she made a quick guess that he was in the gym going a few rounds with the punching bag or weights.**

**She found the gym dark and empty so she headed for the crib. Perhaps he was catching a short nap. He wasn't there either so she headed for the last place he could be – the locker room. Entering somewhat cautiously, she saw the light on in the men's showers and as she got closer she heard water running and knew it had to be Elliot. She hurried to get out before he heard – or sensed - she was there. **

**Back in the squad room she sorted through the pile of folders, papers and assorted desk paraphernalia on the floor and put them in their rightful place on Elliot's desk. Then she took the folders and report she had been working on and picked up where she had left off.**

**Ten minutes later she was pouring a cup of coffee when she heard Elliot enter the squad room. He stopped just short of their desks and frowned. It was all she could do not to make some smart aleck comment and ask him what the heck he had done. And why? It didn't take long before he turned to scan the room and his eyes found her. **

**Please, please don't let her be the one who cleaned up the after effects of his anger, he prayed, knowing it was futile. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his jaw twitching with tension.**

"**I could ask you the same." She nodded toward his desk. "What happened?"**

**He looked at the desk, sat down and ran his hands over his head. "Nothing." **

"**Nothing?" she repeated. "Wasn't **_**nothing**_** on the floor a little while ago."**

"**Will you just drop it?"**

**"Looks like you beat me to that," she replied with raised eyebrows.**

"**Olivia," he warned with a deep sigh. "Please."**

**Watching him, she realized she was pushing buttons now and he was upset and she really did not want to make the situation worse. **

"**Okay, okay. What have you done since I left?"**

**Elliot just stared at her. "I'm sorry…I-I just…I was…going to get to it after…after the shower…"**

**Olivia nodded and smiled. "It's okay. We'll do it now." She picked up a pen and began writing.**

**Elliot couldn't believe she so willingly let it all go. She must have had a really good time with the doctor. That had to be it. She wasn't even mad that he hadn't done a thing since she had been gone. Or maybe she had a really bad time and that was why she came back after he told her he would take care of the reports. He couldn't stand it anymore.**

"**How was dinner?" **

**Olivia didn't even look up. "Fine."**

**Fine? Everything was fine with her. "If it was fine then why are you back? Told you I had this."**

"**I felt guilty leaving you to do all the work. Good thing I came back or you'd be here all night finishing." **

**Elliot nodded his agreement with her. "Then you had a good time?"**

"**Yep." She still didn't look at him.**

"**So, you got another date?"**

**This time she looked at him, tapped her pen against the desktop, and leaned back in her chair. "I didn't realize we were playing twenty questions?"**

**Elliot shrugged. "Just wondering how things are going with you and the doc."**

**Olivia smiled, picked up her pen, said, "Fine." And she began writing again. **

**Rolling his eyes, Elliot turned to his computer and started typing. He knew this conversation was o-v-e-r.**

**Olivia got home around 11:30 and wanted a hot shower. But she couldn't wait to check her email. It took an eternity for the ancient computer to boot up – she really should buy a new one, she thought. **

**When the email finished loading she was disappointed. There was nothing from Rangers99 . **

SVU Squad Room - Tuesday, May 11 – 8:56 a.m.

**Tuesday morning came much too soon after the late night at the precinct. Olivia looked at her watch again and wondered where Elliot was. It was not like him to be late and not let her know. They stayed until nearly eleven last night but he had time to get plenty of sleep. She was about to call him again when Cragen came out of his office headed toward her.**

"**How late did you and Elliot have to stay last night to get all those reports finished?" Cragen asked as he stood before her with his hands in his trouser pockets.**

"**Eleven or so. Did El call in or something?" She hoped she didn't seem too worried or bothered that he didn't tell her his plans.**

"**Said he had something to take care of this morning and would be here around nine. He didn't tell you?" Cragen seemed puzzled.**

**Olivia shook her head and just as she started to say something, Elliot strode in, taking his jacket off as he approached his desk.**

"**Hey." He draped his jacked on the back of his chair and headed for the coffee pot. "What's on the agenda?"**

"**The ACS hearing for Sally and Seth Sandifer to see if the grandparents get guardianship," Olivia told him.**

"**That's right. What time?" Elliot sat on the corner of his desk and sipped his coffee, blowing at the steam billowing from the cup.**

"**Ten. And don't be late," Cragen warned. "It will take thirty minutes, tops. Then the two of you head over to P.S. 118. Munch and Fin are there on a sexual assault call. They need a hand questioning students and staff."**

**Elliot said, "Yes, sir." He sat down at logged in. **

**The phone rang on Olivia's desk and she began taking notes then looking through one of the files. Elliot could tell she was talking to Melinda about some evidence on one of the cases. This would be a good time to reply to her email.**

_From: Rangers99 _

_To: Liv123 _

_Subject: RE: Hey, Kyle…you busy Saturday afternoon?_

_**Saturday? Yankees? I have a few rearrangements to make, but I'd really like to go so count me in! Can't wait.**_

**Elliot had read and reread, wrote and rewrote those few lines so many times last night he lost count. He still wasn't satisfied with it this morning but there was nothing else to do. So, he prayed he would be able to pull his plan off, crossed his fingers and hit send. **

Outside P.S. 118 - Tuesday, May 11 – 4:17 p.m.

**Frazzled and worn, Munch, Fin, Elliot and Olivia are walking out of P.S. 118. "If I never hear another kid say 'nothin', it will be too soon," Fin complained.**

"**Reminds me of the time I caught Maureen sneaking into the house at 2:30 in the morning…"**

"**Maureen?" Olivia asked in amazement. Elliot's oldest child had always played by the rules and he had never mentioned this infraction to Olivia.**

"**Yeah…where ya been? **_**Nowhere**_**. What you been doin'**_**? Nothin'**_**. Who were you with? **_**Nobody'**_**. " Elliot changed his voice from deep and gruff to a high pitched girly tone as he told what each of them had said.**

"**Ah, so the Stabler kids are **_**not**_** perfect like their father," Munch said sarcastically.**

"**The problem is they are **_**just**_** like their father," Fin kidded.**

"**Haha." Elliot shoved him into Munch.**

"**What did you do to her?" Olivia asked, unfazed by the other comments.**

**Elliot looked over at her and shrugged. "Grounded her till she was willing to answer my questions."**

"**Just one of the many reasons I never had children. Anyone up for a late lunch, early dinner?" Munch asked. **

"**I can always eat," Elliot said.**

"**After smelling all that school lunch food, I need some **_**real**_** food," Fin told them.**

"**Well, I have plans so I'm gonna head out…" Olivia started but stopped as her cell phone rang and she unclipped it from her belt. "Excuse me, guys." **

**She stepped away, but not before Elliot saw her smile. He knew it had to be the doctor and that he had to be part of Olivia's plans for the evening. He held his breath for a long minute then realized what he was doing and chided himself for getting upset. Whatever the outcome, he had little control over it at this point.**

**Olivia caught up with them, "Hey. Guess I'm stuck with you guys – as if I don't see you enough – my plans changed."**

"**Yeah? You get stood up? What man in his right mind would stand you up, 'Livia, huh?" Fin frowned playfully at her.**

"**That's what she gets for dating a doctor," Munch said.**

**Elliot was oddly quiet. Olivia watched him closely, trying to figure out what he was thinking. His mind was going crazy but she had no idea what was going on in it.**

"**Well, he **_**did**_** give me a rain check for tomorrow night, so technically I wasn't stood up," she smiled sweetly and walked ahead of the group.**

_**Tomorrow **_**night**_**? **_**Elliot's mind was truly in overdrive now, wondering what was going on?**

**Olivia did a repeat of last night. As soon as she got home she headed for the old computer and turned in on. Tonight she changed clothes and grabbed a bottle of water before sitting down and logging into her email account. Interesting. Ranger99 had answered. And he said yes. Maybe it really was Kyle even though her gut told her it was Elliot. Maybe her gut was just screwed up because she **_**wanted**_** it be Elliot. Well, if Dr. Kyle Beresford didn't mention the game she would **_**know**_** it was Elliot. **

SVU Squad Room - Wednesday, May 12 – 5:45 p.m.

**For a change things went relatively smooth for the SVU and the day had been fairly routine. They had a couple of calls but both were cleared up in a matter of hours. Munch and Fin had bowed out early, courtesy of Captain Cragen and it was now time to close up shop. Elliot had been watching Olivia closely the last hour, wondering if she would say anything about her plans tonight. As evidenced by her constant checking of the time, he knew she was fidgety. And something else…nervous? Excited? The scenarios that assaulted his thoughts were enough to make his stomach ache with jealousy.**

**She looked up and stared him staring at her. "Elliot, you've been staring at me for nearly hour. Something on your mind?"**

**What? He nearly fell out of his chair at her question. Was she into mind reading now, he wondered? Who was he kidding? Olivia always knew when something was on his mind and a good portion of that time she knew **_**exactly**_** what it was without him ever saying a word. He sure hoped that was not the case right now.**

**Shifting in his chair to make it look like he moved on purpose rather than being jerked back to the present by her question, he tried to come up with something believable to say. "Just thinking." Great Stabler. That will open things wide up for her.**

**Trying to stifle her laughter, she shook her head.**

"**What?" Elliot frowned as he leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands behind his head.**

"**You? Thinking? How amusing," she chuckled.**

"**You say that but you and I both know you'd **_**love**_** to get into my head," he retorted.**

"**Mmmm…no. The job is scary enough without being in your head, Elliot."**

**Laughing quietly, he told her, "You're more right that you'll ever know."**

**Cragen came out of his office, closing the door behind me. He walked over to Olivia and Elliot. "Don't you have somewhere to be, Olivia?"**

"**Oh, yeah…" She glanced at the wall clock as she turned her watch and checked the time there as well. She started gathering her things.**

"**Dr. Beresford?" Cragen grinned. He was glad to see her dating someone decent again. Especially after the way Dean Porter had seemingly so callously tossed aside whatever had been between them. Cragen wasn't blind to how it hurt Olivia. Just like he wasn't blind to whatever she and Elliot had between them that as of yet either not been acknowledged or at least not yet acted upon. And he wondered when, if ever, Elliot would come to his senses and do something about it.**

**Olivia broke into a big smile, but then caught the look on Elliot's face and the smile dissipated a bit. "Yes. Kyle Beresford."**

"**Good. Maybe he'll give Elliot a discount on ER care." Cragen looked at Elliot. "If they gave frequent ER patient points for a discount, you could cover the whole squad."**

"**I'll ask Kyle about it." Olivia's gaze flitted to Elliot just long enough to see he was anything but amused by the captain's comments.**

**Beresford's the one who's gonna need ER care, thought Elliot. He couldn't take much more of Olivia and the doctor.**

"**Give you lift home?" Cragen offered.  
**

"**That'd be great, Captain." She locked her desk and looked at Elliot again. "See you in the morning." She was curious about his clenched jaw and sudden interest in the file in his hand.**

**Eyes glued to the case file, Elliot only nodded. When he thought they were gone he looked at them and to his surprise Olivia turned to look back at the same time. She smiled at him but he could not muster one in return as he watched them leave the squad room.**

Benson Residence - Wednesday, May 12 – 7:38 p.m.

**Olivia replayed the conversation over in her head to see if she missed anything. A word? A tone? An inflection? She'd been dating long enough to know when something wasn't quite right. And something wasn't quite right but she could not put her finger on it.**

**Just as she was keying into her apartment tonight to get ready for her date, she received a call from Kyle.**

'_**Hey, Kyle.'**_

'_**Hi, Liv.'**_

'_**We still on for dinner?'**_

'_**Uh…no. I'm sorry but I have to cancel again.'**_

'_**Oh…that's okay. I understand.' She didn't but what choice did she have in the matter.**_

'_**Thank you for being so understanding…I'm-I'm really sorry.'**_

'_**Sure. How about tomorrow?'**_

'_**Why don't we just wait and see what happens tomorrow instead of making more plans that have to be broken.'**_

'_**Oh…okay.'**_

'_**If nothing else, we've got Saturday.'**_

'_**Saturday?'**_

'_**The game.'**_

'_**Oh…yeah…the game.'**_

'_**I'll call you.' **_

**Then he hung up leaving Olivia staring at her cell phone and wondering what just happened. She had racked her brain trying to figure out Kyle's actions and words. She also racked her brain trying to figure out why she was so concerned about him when the man she really wanted to be with was her partner. **

**It took several minutes for it to register that he said something about Saturday. About the game. Ranger99 **_**was**_** Kyle. Or he wouldn't have known about the game. Disappointment weighed her down and she sighed loudly. How could she have been so wrong? She just **_**knew**_** it was Elliot. She **_**wanted**_** it to be Elliot. Who was that yellow rose in his car really for? **

**Sighing again, she spoke out loud. "Come on, Benson. You know who it was for. It was for that woman he told you about. The one he was interested in who was dating someone else." She flopped back on the couch, trying not to cry. "Olivia Benson, you're an idiot. A complete idiot!"**

**Twirling her phone over and over in her hand, she decided there was a phone call that needed to be made. After contemplating for a few minutes, she tapped the cell phone screen and looked at the pictures in her favorite contacts before tapping one then hitting the phone symbol and waited.**

**It seemed to take forever before the call was answered.**

"**Hey. It's me. We need to talk."**

**~ ~ ~ eoeoeoeoe ~ ~ ~**


	8. Chapter 8 Rx

**What Can it Hurt?**

**By Bensler**

**Chapter 8 ~ Rx**

**Joshua Cup Coffee House - Wednesday, May 12 – 8:45 p.m.**

Olivia emptied a second packet of sugar into her hot tea and looked across the table. "Well? Do you think he's giving me the brush-off?"

Alex was uncomfortable with the whole conversation. She did not want to be held responsible for the fiasco the blind date she set up for Olivia was becoming. "You know how erratic your schedule can be – certainly an ER doctor's is no less so," she reminded her friend.

Releasing a heavy sigh, Olivia leaned back in her seat. "You're probably right. But, still…there was just something different…his tone…I don't know." She shook her head.

"You really like him, don't you?" Alex asked with a hint of amusement.

The grin on Olivia's face gave Alex the answer before she heard the words. "I do. He's fun; we can talk for hours on end; he's been nothing but a gentleman. Not to mention he's cute. Until tonight I was ready to thank you for setting us up…I mean I thought everything was going along just fine…but now…I don't know."

"Saturday is just two days away. You'll have your answer then," Alex said. She took a sip of her coffee then looked at Olivia.

Nodding slowly, Olivia laughed softly, and muttered under her breath, "I can't believe I thought it was Elliot."

Alex's eyes flew to her friend. "Excuse me?"

Olivia looked at her questioningly then realized she had spoken her thought out loud. "Nothing."

"You said something about Elliot." Alex leaned across the table unwilling to let that comment go.

Giving Alex a wry smile, Olivia told her, "I saw a wilted yellow rose in Elliot's car the other day."

"So…" Alex had no idea what Olivia was talking about.

"So… when we were IM-ing he told me I would know him because he would have a yellow rose."

"Elliot?"

"No, the blind date…you know when we met up the first time," she explained. "But he didn't."

"He didn't?"

"No. Dr. Beresford…I mean, Kyle. He didn't have a rose, yellow or otherwise."

"Oh." Alex raised an eyebrow and made a mental note to herself. "Maybe he forgot?"

"Yeah, maybe." She idly stirred ran her index finger around the rim of the teacup.

"What if it _had_ been Elliot?"

Olivia's head shot up and her eyes narrowed as she searched Alex's face, for what, she wasn't sure. "It wouldn't be."

"But what if it had been?" Alex persisted.

"We had our chance. He went back to Kathy."

The regret and hurt was unmistakable in Olivia's voice and Alex wanted to extend comfort to her but knew it would not really help.

"But he's free again now. Legally. Maybe it could work out this time," Alex offered.

Shrugging, Olivia told her, "No. He's interested in someone else."

This was news to Alex. "How do you know that?"

"He told me."

A frown crinkled Alex's forehead. Someone else? What? She made another mental note to ask Elliot about this other woman.

**SVU Squad Room – Thursday, May 13 – 4:17 p.m.**

"Benson! Stabler!"

Cragen's call for them startled the two detectives who were concentrating on the last of several reports. Their head snapped toward Cragen as he motioned them to his office. They glanced at one another before getting up to meet his command.

When they were seated, Cragen closed the door and reached for a folder on his desk. He pulled two pictures from it and handed one to each of them. "Remember the Becca Molton case?"

Olivia looked at the pretty, oriental girl in the picture she held. The child couldn't have been more than twelve or thirteen. "Yeah. She accused the music director at her school of touching her inappropriately."

"Then recanted and we had no concrete evidence so the s.o.b. got off," Elliot added. He took the picture of a cute redhead he had and traded it for the one Olivia was holding.

"Well, looks like he couldn't resist all those young girls in his class. Only this time word is he raped these two."

Elliot and Olivia exchanged looks. "Is there evidence?" Olivia asked.

Cragen took the redhead's picture from Olivia and held it up. "Lindsay Shellmore told a friend she had been raped two weeks ago. Her friend told her mother and _she_ told Lindsay's mother. All four on the way here. I'll get Munch and Fin to interview them." Cragen pointed at the picture of the oriental girl in Elliot's hands. "Anise Akita is on her way to Mercy right now. She was attacked after school. In the orchestra room."

"He's not even trying to hide it," Olivia stated with disbelief.

"Wait'll I get my hands on that…" Elliot growled.

"First, we need evidence then we'll get him. You two head to Mercy. Olivia, get a statement from Anise. Elliot, talk to her parents and see if they know anything about earlier incidents with the teacher. Get the rape kit to forensics ASAP."

The ride to the hospital was filled with tension. Olivia's. She knew Kyle was on day shift and should still be at work and after their last conversation, she was apprehensive about seeing him.

Elliot noticed she was lost in her head and left her alone. She had become quiet right after the captain told her to get a statement from the young girl. He figured she was thinking about the case. Some just got to you worse than others and anytime a child was involved it ate at them.

**Mercy General Hospital – Thursday, May 13 – 4:45 p.m.**

Elliot showed his badge to the man at the ER information desk. "Detective Stabler; my partner, Detective Benson. We're looking for a young girl recently brought in - Anise Akita."

The man checked the computer and pointed to the hall on his left. "Bay 12. Half-way down on the right."

Elliot held open the door to the hallway for Olivia and she headed straight for bay 12. They had been here too many times to count and knew their way around almost as if they worked at the hospital. Olivia peeked in and saw Anise and two people who appeared to be her parents.

She glanced at Elliot as they entered. After introductions were made, Elliot and the Akitas quietly listened as Olivia spoke with Anise. The girl was obviously traumatized but surprisingly articulate about what had happened to her. Just as Olivia had finished taking her statement a SANE (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner) nurse appeared with a rape kit.

Convincing the Akitas it would be better if only Olivia were present during the examination, Elliot stayed with them while she accompanied Anise to the room set aside for rape examinations.

An hour and half later she was following the nurse and Anise back to the Akitas when she heard her name being called.

"Olivia."

She turned to see Kyle coming up the hall. "Kyle, hi."

"Guess you were filled in on the victim…" Kyle gave her a brief hug.

"Yeah. It never ends, does it?" she sighed.

Kyle shook his head and gave her a small smile. "No. But we pick up the pieces and go on."

At first she frowned, thinking the statement seemed odd, but then decided he was right. You did have to pick up the pieces because the only other choice was giving up. "Yeah…so how are you?"

"Good…good. And you?" he smiled.

"Well…" Olivia moved closer to him and whispered, "I've got this condition and I…uh…think I need to see a certain doctor."

He smiled. "Oh, yeah. I bet the doctor has just what you need."

"Mmmm…I'm betting he does, too."

She was leaning very close to him and he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek just as he noticed Elliot walking toward them. Dr. Beresford took a quick step back and Olivia was puzzled until she heard Elliot speak.

"Hey, Doc. Good to see you." He brushed past Olivia and shook hands with Kyle then leveled his best glare at Olivia.

"You, too, Detective Stabler." Kyle said as he glanced at Olivia and then back at Elliot.

Kyle suddenly seemed nervous and Olivia cut her gaze to Elliot and wondered what was going on. Something was off. A thick tension now hung in the air around them and she wasn't the only one who noticed it.

"Well, I need to see the rest of my patients before 6:30. If I can answer any questions about Ms. Akita, please let me know." He directed his statement to Elliot, all but avoiding Olivia.

"Thanks," she said, trying to get him to look at her.

He glanced up then started past her. She stopped him and pulled him aside. "How 'bout I call you later…"

Kyle looked over at Elliot. He was the picture of intimidation. Tall, big, legs spread apart, arms folded across his muscled chest. He smiled at the doctor. Or was it a smirk?

"Uh…I…I've got plans. I'll call you later," Kyle told her as he started walking backwards and then turned and went into another bay.

Elliot nodded toward the rape kit in Olivia's hand. "We need to get that to forensics."

She looked down at the kit in her hands then at Elliot then back to where Kyle had disappeared. "Yeah."

On the way to the lab, it was quiet. After watching the way Olivia acted around the doctor, Elliot was too tense to start a conversation, she was too engrossed in trying to figure out why Kyle had acted so strange. Almost like he was afraid of Elliot, or thought he was overstepping some invisible boundary.

It was going on ten-thirty when they left central booking. They had dropped the rape kit off at the lab; interviewed the Shellmore's and Lindsey; interrogated the music teacher, Jonathan Crooks, and escorted him to be booked.

Elliot was going to drop Olivia off at her place and return the cruiser to the precinct. He hoped to persuade her to spend a little more time with him.

"So, you want to grab something to eat?" Elliot asked as he headed toward Olivia's apartment.

Olivia glanced at him. She realized he spoke but had no idea what he said. "I'm sorry?"

"Eat. You hungry? We could grab a sandwich or something."

"Uh…I don't think so. I'm really tired."

"Oh, come on, Liv. What are you gonna do? Sit around stewing over why the good doctor isn't calling you?"

If looks could kill, Elliot would be dead. The glare she gave him was steaming with anger. "What did you say to me?"

"Okay, okay. You don't want to eat. I'll just take you home."

"Oh, no. You are not changing the subject, Elliot. What did you mean by that?"

"Nothing. I didn't mean anything."

Her mind spinning, Olivia stared at him. "Did you say something to Kyle?"

"About what?"

"About me? Us?"

"What?" Elliot asked incredulously. "You're crazy! Why would I say anything to him about you? And there is no _us_!"

She was losing her ability to read him. He seemed so shocked at her question. And he was right – there was no _them_. "I…I…never mind. Just take me home."

"Now who's changing the subject?" Elliot snorted.

"I'm not changing the subject. I just don't want to talk anymore."

"You don't want to talk anymore," Elliot repeated. "Right." His tone was past sarcastic.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she snapped.

"I'm betting that if the _doctor_ called you'd want to talk," Elliot growled. His knuckles were white from his hard grip on the steering wheel as he whipped the car into an empty parking space half a block from her building.

The sudden, jerky stop he made caused Olivia to lose her balance and she grabbed at the handle at the top of the door to stop herself from being thrown into Elliot's lap. Before he could say anything else, she unbuckled the seatbelt, opened the door and got out. "At least Kyle doesn't think I'm _crazy_!" she huffed with a hard, solid slam of the heavy door.

Elliot watched her stomp up the stairs; vanish into the building, without a look back. He released a long, deep sigh and let his head fall back against the seat. Why did it seem that every conversation between them turned into an argument, he wondered? He wanted nothing more than to be with her and for her to want to be with him. He would give anything for them to be an _us – _a couple_. _He just didn't know how to tell her; how to figure out if she were even open to the idea. He sighed again. What did it matter? They could barely be in the same room before they were knee high in a verbal altercation of some sort. Maybe Kyle Beresford was the man for her. Maybe he really did have the right Rx for her. Maybe the doc really did have the prescription for Olivia's happiness. At that moment Elliot was only sure he, himself, had no idea what to do to get her to at least give him a chance. That's all he needed. A chance.

~ ~ ~ eoeoeoeo ~ ~ ~


	9. Chapter 9  Rocky

Well, I am so ashamed that it has been so long since I updated I am not going to offer excuses or reasons, just please know that I have not forgotten nor forsaken all my faithful readers and I will finish my stories! That is a promise! 3 " ) Bensler

**What Can it Hurt?**

**By Bensler**

**Chapter 9 ~ Rocky**

SVU Squad Room – Friday, May 14 – 10:17 a.m.

"What's the word on Crooks?" Captain Cragen asked his detectives.

"Being arraigned at eleven," Fin told him.

"Too bad we don't have enough to hold him. I think he's a flight risk," Elliot added.

"Flight risk?" Cragen frowned. "Why?"

"He's from Canada." Olivia tossed a file folder into the basket on her desk.

Entering the squad room, Dr. Warner said, "You've got enough now to get the judge to hold him. Crooks' DNA and evidence left at the scene of the rape was a match. And not only that but when I ran it, three more hits came up. Two from victims at the middle school he taught at two years ago. And the third one from a student who took private music lessons from him in Connecticut last summer."

All the detectives and Cragen traded glances. He motioned to Olivia and Elliot. "Benson, Stabler, go."

Melinda handed the DNA analysis report to Elliot as they headed out. "Thanks, Doc."

As Olivia drove to the courthouse, Elliot read over the results. "What makes a man do this?" He shook his head, flipping pages as he read the report.

Since their heated exchange the night before they had not talked to each other except about the case. She still wasn't ready to forgive him but figured this was still sort of about the case. "I don't know," she said without looking at him. "What makes anyone do the horrible things we've seen to another human being?"

Elliot let out a big sigh, closed the file folder and tossed it in the backseat. Without bothering to answer, he silently stared out his window.

After several long minutes of quiet, Olivia figured they were back to their not talking mode which was more than fine with her. She really didn't feel like talking at all much less having a conversation about the darkness of their job.

No sooner had she thought this, Elliot asked, "You ever wonder why we keep doing this?"

Her mind went into overdrive. _This_? This what? This not talking? This anger between them? This insanity that was their partnership? The job? What? If she presumed the wrong thing it would just cause more trouble so she decided to play safe. She glanced over at him but he was still looking out his window. "Doing what?"

From the corner of her eye she saw him shaking his head. He turned to lean against the door and she knew he was looking at her now. "The job."

The sudden jump of her heart brought home the fear she had carried with her for years now. The fear he would one day have enough of her or the job or both and quit the unit if not the force.

At this moment she could not bring herself to look at him. She was so afraid she would see in his eyes that he had reached his limit. Instead, she concentrated on the road in front of her and told him the truth. "Yeah, I do wonder at times."

Elliot took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face. "Ever think about quitting?"

Now her heart was in her throat. She would not be able to bear hearing him say he was leaving. They had talked about this before. Maybe not concretely but in a round-about way. Like the time he told her she could 'walk away', and she told him 'no, I can't'. Not from the job; not from him. Or the time he told her he didn't know why he was doing it anymore; or all the times he had to get out and away from a case before he completely lost it. Or after Gitano when he told her she and the job were all he had and he couldn't take it if he messed up either. Then she had left the unit. Not once but twice. And it had done no good whatsoever. There was simply something between them too strong to be severed. And she had no choice but to come back.

Hoping that being truthful would soften how he was feeling, her voice was a low whisper, "Nearly every day."

She felt his gaze boring into her and when she pulled into a parking space near the courthouse, she found the courage to look at him. In his eyes she saw what she knew hers mirrored. Yes, this was an extremely difficult job. Sometimes it took all she had physically, but _always_ everything mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and then some. More times than not it left her empty and questioning everything she thought was truth and everyone she thought she trusted. Still, it was in her blood. It was the beat of her heart. And there was no way she could walk away from this job. Or her partner. Thank God, she saw in his eyes the same.

Elliot nodded. "Me, too."

A wave of relief swept over Olivia and though she was able to breathe a little easier, she wanted to hear him say he would not leave. "Would you ever…do you think you could ever…" The word seemed to stick in her throat and her voice trailed off.

"Quit?" Elliot finished for her.

Nodding was the only way she could answer him.

"There's only one reason I could ever see myself leaving the squad, but that reason will probably never happen." Giving her a smile that seemed tinged with sadness, he added, "So face it, Benson…you're stuck with me." He grabbed the file from the backseat, opened his door and started toward the courthouse before she could respond to his last remark.

Olivia quickly grabbed the keys from the ignition, locked the car and followed Elliot, all the while contemplating just what could possibly ever make him leave SVU.

The rest of the day was routine – if one could call two rapes, an elderly man shoved down a stairwell by his son, and mother locking her eleven year old in the trunk of her car because she talked back, routine. Munch and Fin were out on the second rape call when Cragen handed Olivia and Elliot a slip of paper with the address for the kid in the trunk.

It was nearly eight o'clock by the time the mother had been arrested and the girl taken by ACS with the promise of placing her with an aunt and uncle in New Jersey.

Olivia was worn out and ready for a hot shower and her bed. She halfway thought she might just skip the shower and fall into bed fully clothed. As she buckled her seat belt she asked Elliot, "Hey, drop me at the corner of my street, all right?"

"Thought you drove in today?" Elliot frowned as he looked at her.

"I did. But it'll take another forty-five minutes to get back to the precinct then drive home and I'm tired. I just want to go home. Besides, it's on the way. So, just drop me, okay?"

"Too tired for a quick dinner? I'm starving," he asked.

Olivia looked at him and he smiled before turning his attention back to the road. The way they were with one another was going to drive her completely nuts someday. They'd had the fight last night, never discussed it, never traded apologies, and here he was asking her to eat dinner with him as if nothing was amiss between them. She couldn't help the smirk that played at the corner of her mouth. Though she knew this was Elliot's way of apologizing and trying to make amends, she really was tired and not in the mood to deal with him. With her being so exhausted one of them would say or do something that would set the other off and they'd be right back at square one.

"Thanks for the invite, but I'm gonna pass."

Elliot nodded and turned toward her neighborhood. "Well, you're not walking. I'm taking you to your building."

"Elliot…"

"No arguing. We did enough of that last night."

The looks they traded said more than any words could, but Elliot quickly apologized. "And I'm sorry for all that…last night. I was…uh…out of line." He smoothly pulled the car into a space right in front of her building.

Olivia smiled in spite of her annoyance at him for bringing up last night. "Yeah. You were." She opened the car door and stepped out. "Thanks for the ride."

Elliot watched her walk up the stoop and key into the building. He was still watching as she turned just before the door closed and smiled again.

Benson Residence – Friday, May 14 – 7:52 p.m.

Olivia shrugged out of her jacket and hung it up; took off her holster and badge and placed them on the kitchen counter. As she walked toward her bedroom, she peeled her clothes off dropping them along the way. Grabbing an oversized tee shirt and a pair of shorts, she slipped into them.

She had just tossed half of a moldy leftover pizza when she heard a knock at her door. Had to be Elliot. It was rare for anyone but her partner to show up unannounced.

"Come on, Elliot. I told you I was too tired to go out for dinner," she said as she opened the door and came to face to face with a set of blue eyes.

But not the ones she had been expecting.

"Sorry, but I'm not Elliot. Do you guys have plans?" Kyle stood with his hands in his pockets, smiling.

Startled that it was not Elliot, it took a few seconds to find her voice. "Kyle, hey. No plans. He wanted to go eat…I'm tired but I thought you were him…I mean, we just finished a case and Elliot dropped me off not five minutes ago."

"I see."

"What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you." His tone turned serious.

Olivia eyed him warily. "Hmmm…sounds serious."

Kyle's gaze dropped away. "May I come in?"

She pulled the door open and went to stand in the kitchen. Kyle closed the door and took a few steps toward her. They stared at one another – he, not sure how to start; she, determined to wait until he ready to have his say.

"Liv…I really don't know how to say this…"

"Kyle, we're not kids. Just say whatever it is you need to say."

His nervousness was making Olivia fidgety and she didn't like it. Years of dating told her she was about to get dumped. Though she was usually the _dumpor_ she had been the _dumpee_ enough to know it when she saw it coming.

"Okay…I've really enjoyed spending time with you, getting to know the woman behind the badge…"

"But?" Olivia interrupted.

"This is really hard for me, Liv, because I really do like you." He ran a hand over his head and sighed.

"But?"

"But, my ex-fiancé, Abby – I told you about her. She's coming through town this weekend and wants to see me. Wants to know if I'd give her a second chance…and I…I don't know…"

"You still love her?" Olivia asked softly.

Kyle looked up at her and she knew he did before he answered. Nodding, he told her, "Very much."

Olivia was surprised that she really was not upset by his admission or the fact that she was being dumped. "Then you owe it to her – and yourself - to give her that second chance, Kyle."

"I know…I just…I really like you, Olivia."

"But you love Abby. Guess that means the ballgame is off, huh?" Olivia smiled at him.

"I'm sorry, Liv, really I am."

"No need to apologize. All's fair in love and war, remember?" she teased.

"Thanks for being so understanding."

"Well, just so you know…I'm usually the one doing the dumping."

He laughed at that statement. "That's because anyone would be crazy not to want to be with you, Olivia. You're wonderful woman, not to mention gorgeous."

"So that makes you crazy or Abby _drop-dead_ gorgeous or both."

They smiled at one another and Kyle took a step closer to pull her into a hug and whispered in her ear, "Just remember, chances can be for anybody special in our lives – not just exes. Besides, what can it hurt to give someone a chance, right?" He kissed her cheek and was out the door before she could begin to process what he said.

After Kyle was gone, Olivia could not quit thinking about what he said and pondering what he meant. It seemed to hold some cryptic meaning she could not quite grasp. She had showered, made some tea, put a load of laundry on and was still lost in thought over his words when her phone rang.

"Hey, Alex."

"Hey. What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Friday night and you're doing nothing? Want to meet me somewhere for a late dinner? I just finished going over half the Lindstrom testimony for Monday's trial."

"Sorry, but I'm already dressed for bed and I turned Elliot down earlier for dinner. I'm really tired."

"And you've got a big day tomorrow so I completely understand."

Olivia snorted at that then told Alex what had transpired between her and Kyle. "So, you want to go to the game? I hate to waste the tickets."

"Well, I'd love to, but I'm going to be at the office all weekend to finish prepping for the trial. What about Elliot?"

"What _about_ Elliot?" Olivia asked, certain that Alex was not suggesting what she thought she was.

"He loves baseball. Ask him to go with you," Alex prodded.

Laughing at the mere thought, Olivia said, "Right. Are you crazy? He and I are either not speaking or we're yelling at each other. Don't think so. Maybe I'll just give them to the college kids across the hall."

"Well, have you ever considered exactly why it is you guys do fight so often? Anyway, it was just a suggestion and I don't see how going to a ballgame together could be all that bad." Alex subtly pushed the idea.

"And I thought you knew us so well," Olivia countered.

Alex chuckled. "Well, I think you're just scared of what might happen between the two of you."

"Scared? Of Elliot? Me? I think your brain is fried from all that paperwork."

"Whatever. I'm starving so I'm gonna pick up a sandwich or something. Call me sometime this weekend and let me know what you decided."

"All right. Good night."

For another hour, Olivia played the conversations with Kyle and Alex over and over in her head. What did Kyle mean 'anyone special'? Was he talking about Elliot? He had told her he thought she and Elliot had been together. And what did Alex mean about 'why they fought so much? Her brain was hovering near insanity. Afraid? Of Elliot? She was practically the only one who was _not_ afraid of him; the only one who could calm him down when he went ballistic. That is, unless, she was the reason for his rage.

As rocky as their relationship was at times, she could never stay mad at him. Nor he at her. They always came back to the other. That had to mean something. And honestly, there was no one she would rather spend time with and she really did want to go to the game. And he was single now and Elliot _did_ love baseball. Finally, she muttered to herself, _'What _can_ it hurt?' _and picked up her cell phone then hit #1.

For some reason, her hands were sweaty and her stomach was doing flips as she wondered what was wrong with her? It was only Elliot. _Just_ Elliot. Still, her apprehension was so intense she almost hung up before he answered. If she hadn't known he would simply call her back when he saw the missed call, she would have done just that.

Elliot didn't bother with greetings or niceties. "Thought you'd be sound asleep by now."

"Me, too," she admitted.

"What's up?" The sudden concern in his voice was unmistakable.

"Um…I…Kyle can't go tomorrow…to the game…and I was wondering…I thought…well, do you want to go?" she stammered and stuttered.

Caught off guard, Elliot tried to cover his involuntary sharp intake of breath with a cough. "That depends."

"On what?"

"Why can't Kyle go?"

"He just can't." She did not want to tell Elliot the truth. Not right now.

"Gotta be a reason."

Sighing, Olivia's voice was quiet when she answered. "Well, an old friend is coming into town tomorrow and wants to see him."

"Friend?"

"Okay, Elliot. His ex-fiance, okay? And she wants to get back with him and he's going to give her another chance and I got dumped. That a good enough reason for you?" 

Elliot cleared his throat but didn't say anything. The silence went on for so long, she feared he was gloating over the fact that yet another of her relationships had met its demise. She would not be able to handle his jokes about it. Olivia decided to end the call. "Look, forget I asked…"

"Are you asking me 'cause you're on the rebound?" His tone was quiet, serious.

"What? No! I just don't want to waste the tickets and I know you like baseball and…never mind. I knew this was a bad idea."

"I'll go."

"What?"

"I said I'll go. What time do you want me to pick you up?"

"Are…are you sure?"

"Liv, what time?"

"Game's at 1:00…"

"I'll be there at 10:00."

"Isn't that a little early?" 

"Nah…it'll give us a jump on traffic and all, okay?"

"Okay."

"So…it's a date. See you in the morning."

_Date_? It's a _date_? Her mind went blank. "Yeah…in the morning."

She stared at the phone in her hand. She could not believe she asked him to go to the game. Even more she really could not believe he agreed to go. He was picking her up in the morning. She had a _date_ with Elliot Stabler tomorrow. His words, not hers. What should she wear? What would they talk about? She would make a concerted effort not argue with him. Her stomach was hurting now and her hands shook. All because she had a date. With Elliot.

~ ~ ~ eoeoeoeoeo ~ ~ ~


	10. Chapter 10

**What Can it Hurt?**

**By Bensler**

**Chapter 10 ~ Reassess**

Benson Residence – Saturday, May 15 – 9:45 a.m.

Insane. That's what this was. What _she_ was. Insane. Olivia had barely been able to keep her eyes closed last night and she certainly did not get much rest. Tossing and turning had kept sleep far away. All she could think about was the ballgame. Saturday morning. Elliot. Now as she inspected her reflection in the bathroom mirror, she talked to herself and practiced various greetings to say to Elliot.

'_Hi, Elliot.' 'Good to see you, El.'_ She smiled with her lips closed. _'Elliot, good morning.' 'Hey, El.'_ She smiled and showed her even white teeth then rolled her eyes.

'You're an idiot, Benson,' she said to the woman staring out at her. 'A pathetic idiot.'

She ran a hand through her hair, tousling it a bit so he wouldn't think she had gone to too much effort for him. Leaning closer, she looked into her eyes. '_It's Elliot Stabler. Your partner of nearly a dozen years, Olivia. He's seen you at your best, your worst. Worse than your worst. Just as you've seen him. Right?'_

'_Right.'_ Olivia answered herself.

'_Okay, then what's the problem?'_

The problem was he had called this ballgame a date. A date. She had a _date_ with Elliot. With her partner. And she nervous as a cat in a pack of wild dogs. Glancing over at the pile of jeans tossed on her bed, she made her way over and pulled out a pair from the middle. She unzipped the jeans she had on a put the other ones on. As she zipped them, she figured she must have changed her outfit at least eight or nine times. Every pair of jeans she owned was on her bed along with an array of tee shirts, spring sweaters, and blouses. She had settled on a white tank covered by a navy blue and white plaid peasant style blouse with gauzy material and the darkest pair of blue jeans she owned. Her navy blue sandals let her jeans drag the floor and she was changing into her navy blue Nikes when she heard the knocking on her door.

She took one last look in the mirror. 'Okay, Benson. You can do this. You can.'

Looking through the peephole to be sure it was Elliot, she felt her heart speed up even more. He was wearing a Yankees baseball shirt. A _tight_ Yankees baseball shirt. And he stood with his hands behind his back making it very easy to see the definition of his chest muscles through the shirt.

She opened the door and was met with the bright smile of her partner and all her practiced greetings flew straight out of her head. So she smiled back but said nothing.

"Wow. Team colors. I'm impressed," Elliot said as he looked her over admiringly.

Instantly, she felt the heat crawling up her neck to her face.

"Or was it just by chance?" he added.

"What? You think I don't know my home team colors? I wore navy and white because I happen to like the Yankees," she retorted.

"Then you should like this, too," Elliot told her as he pulled two Yankees ball caps from behind his back and put one on her head and the other on his.

Good thing she didn't worry too much with her hair. She laughed as she adjusted the hat. "I love it! Thanks."

His grin told her he was more than pleased with himself.

They stood and stared at one another. It became an awkward moment for some reason.

Finally, Olivia said, "Well, you ready to go?"

Elliot shifted his weight from foot to foot several times. He was as nervous as she was – maybe even more so, she realized.

"Uh…not…not yet. I've…I've got something else for you." He rubbed his sweating hands down the side of his jeans.

"Oh…okay." Olivia had no idea what to expect.

He stared at her like he was in a trance.

"El?"

"Sorry…listen, could I…could I come in for a bit?"

"Sure," Olivia said with a puzzled look.

As she stepped aside, he grabbed a green paper bag just outside her door and slid it behind his back as he came in.

Now Olivia was bursting with curiosity at his strange actions and wanting to know what he had for her.

Elliot stood there paralyzed. He knew when he gave her what he brought it would either be very good or very bad. He prayed for very good but feared the very bad knowing he would not be able to handle the bad. When he swallowed the sound was so loud he was sure she heard it, too. His tongue ran over his dry lips and he tried to remember what he had planned to say. The bag began to stick to his sweaty hands and he became aware of the twisting and turning of his insides.

"We just going to stand here staring at each other or what?" Olivia asked teasingly.

That would be more than fine with him. He never got tired of looking at her; watching her move; listening to her talk. He'd be content to stay right where he was.

"Uh…no." Slowly he pulled the bag from behind. It was now or never. He took a deep breath and pulled the gift from the bag. "These are for you."

In his hands was a bouquet of the most gorgeous yellow roses Olivia had ever seen. He held them out to her but she made no move to take them. She was in shock. Total complete shock. Her mouth fell open as her eyes widened, but she didn't move or say anything.

Elliot was about to be sick if she didn't say something soon. He held his breath in anticipation of her next words because they would either crush him or make him the happiest man in New York City.

As she reached for the flowers, she whispered, "I knew it." Then more loudly as she looked at him, she said, "They are beautiful, Elliot. Thank you." And with that she tip-toed to kiss his cheek.

He grabbed her arm and kept her next to him. "You said 'I knew it'. What'd you mean by that?"

She could barely breathe this close to him. "It was you. I knew it. At least I hoped it was you…but then…"

"Hoped it was me?"

"The blind date." Olivia got a far off look on her face. "I'm gonna kill Alexandra Cabot."

Elliot pulled back from her. "Kill Alex? Why? You said you hoped it was me."

"She should have told me it was you she was trying to set me up with."

"And if she had, would you have gone?"

"Probably not."

Elliot released her and nodded.

She pulled him back to her and told him, "I thought Kyle was my blind date. And if his ex- girlfriend hadn't come back…" Olivia shook her head. "I nearly missed my chance with you. That's why I want to kill Alex."

Elliot smiled. "So you're okay with this? You and me…dating?"

The bright smile on her face answered his question before she did. "I am! So, Hoops41, don't we need to head out?"

Glancing at his watch, he replied, "Yeah, we do, Liv123."

"Let me put these in some water first," Olivia told him.

She set the vase with the roses at the end of the kitchen counter. "I didn't think about the fact that Kyle didn't have a yellow rose that night, until I saw the wilted one in your back seat. Why yellow?"

"The florist told me yellow roses symbolize warmth, happiness, joy. Feelings you might have for a friend. And whatever there is between us or may develop, you were my friend first, Liv. And I hope you always be," he explained.

Olivia's lips pulled into a one-sided smile. "Why did you let me think it was Kyle?"

Elliot snorted. "When I got there and saw you with him, you were laughing and looked so happy. I couldn't remember the last time I heard you laugh like that and…I…I just couldn't ruin it for you. And I thought maybe…he could…he would be better for you anyway."

Olivia was touched that he was willing to let her go if it made her happy. It was at this moment that she realized how much he really cared about her.

"Well, you know the old saying… 'if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.'" The words had fallen out before she realized exactly what she was saying. Utterly mortified, she looked up at Elliot.

Knowing Olivia played things close to the vest, he knew she did not mean to let that slip out. He decided not to draw attention to it. "So, why wouldn't you have gone out if Alex had told you it was me?"

"Seriously? You have to ask? Look at how we fight, Elliot. All the time," she huffed.

"So? We always make up." His manner was light and matter of fact.

"Yeah, we do," she agreed. He did have a point.

"If you think we fight too much, why'd you ask me to the game?"

Olivia chewed on her bottom lip and thought about how to answer him. Finally, she took a deep breath and looked right into his eyes. So blue, she thought. "Something Alex said made me reassess our relationship."

She wasn't sure she could explain it to him without him thinking she was crazy or flipped out over him. Which she wasn't – crazy that is. "She asked me if I'd ever considered exactly why it is we do fight so often?"

"You figure it out?"

"What do you think?" she had already said much more than she intended.

"What do I think?" Elliot put his arms around her waist and pulled her close. "I think we're both scared of each other…"

"I'm not scared of you…" she objected. 

"Yeah. You are. Just like I'm scared of you. Scared of how much we care for each other. Scared that if we admit it we'll mess up the partnership and friendship we have for something we're not sure will work or even deserve. I think we've tried for so long to squelch our real feelings its frustrated both of us and made us snappy and angry because we blame each other for making us feel things that are too…are too complicated."

Olivia smiled at his use of the word complicated and thought back five years ago and the circumstances in which she had first used that word to describe their relationship.

"_Is_ this too complicated?" she asked.

"Not for me," he replied quietly.

"We'll argue."

"I know."

"We'll fight and you'll shut down on me."

"I know. I won't mean to but I'll hurt you and you'll leave me again."

"But I always came back. I'll always _come_ back."

"And I'll do my best to talk to you instead of shutting down and raging."

"But we'll still get mad at each other at times."

"Yeah, but just think of how much fun it'll be making up now that we're dating."

Elliot's hand framed her face and he kissed her for the first time. It was a sweet and gentle kiss yet full of fire and promise of the future.

When he ended the kiss, they stared at one another for a long time before Elliot whispered. "We need to go."

Olivia nodded. Elliot stepped out into the hallway and as she closed the door behind her the last thing she saw was the beautiful bouquet of sun-kissed yellow roses, Olivia thought _'Alex was right. What _can_ it hurt?'_

~ ~ ~ eoeoeoeo ~ ~ ~


End file.
